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Devil Quotes

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Devil Quotes

“The Devil made me do it the first time - the second time I done it on my own”

Firsts Made Done Humor Funny My Own Devil First Time

Author:Billy Joe Shaver

“There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.”

Reason Humor Funny Differences Religious Devil Dating Catholic Broke Broke Up Funny Dating Religious Differences

Author:Adam Ferrara

“Any other town you go to there's this little devil and a little angel on your shoulder. A little good advice, a little bad advice.You go to Las Vegas, there's like a devil and a devil and they're just battling it out the whole time. It's like, "Smoke some crack!" "Get a hooker!" And then I go, "YEA! Yea, this is a good town. Smoke some crack and get a hooker! Alright!"”

Littles Whole Funny Advice Devil Angel Towns Shoulders Smoke Cracks Vegas Las Vegas Alright Good Advice Bad Advice Little Angel

Author:Bill Burr

“I think pickles are cucumbers that sold out. They sold their soul to the devil, and the devil is dill.”

Thinking Soul Humor Funny Devil Pickles Sold Out Cucumbers

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.”

People Funny Fool Devil Neighbor Neighbors And Friends

Author:Francis Bacon

“Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.”

Humor Reality Funny Life Is Comedy Devil Murder Loved Ones

Author:Emo Philips

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”

Source: Autobiographical Writings

“Who knew that the devil had a factory where he made millions of fossils, which his minions distributed throughout the earth, in order to confuse my tiny brain?”

Made Humor Earth Funny Order Brain Millions Atheism Devil Atheist Tiny Factories Fossils Minions

Author:Lewis Black

“An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard one side of the case. God has written all the books.”

Book God Humor Funny Sides Cases Written Heard Devil Sorry Remembered Apology Apologizing I'm Sorry I Am Sorry Am Sorry Butlers I Apologize Being Sorry Saying I'm Sorry Friendship Apology

Author:Samuel Butler

“If you want to give the devil a nervous breakdown, just get up every day and see how much good you can do.”

Source: Living Beyond Your Feelings: Controlling Emotions So They Don't Control You

“When you actually meet the devil and he offers you a deal most artists eventually negotiate.”

Humor Funny Artist Deals Offers Devil

Author:Marc Maron

“There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic.”

Funny Acting Situation Smart Devil Clever Lunatic

Book:All Art Is Propaganda: Critical Essays

Source: All Art Is Propaganda: Critical Essays