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Groups Quotes

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Groups Quotes

“The Japanese tend to be far more co-operative and docile and group-oriented. It would be easier to get the entire population of Tokyo to wear matching outfits than to get any two randomly selected Americans to agree on pizza toppings.”

Two Would Be Funny Groups Easier Agree Population Japan Pizza Selected Outfits Tokyo Matching Docile Toppings

Book:Dave Barry Does Japan

Source: Dave Barry Does Japan

“The Lazysphere - a working definition - is a group of bloggers who I won't name by name, but you can spot them a mile away. Rather than create new ideas or pen thoughtful essays, they simply glom on to the latest news with another "me too" blog post.”

Ideas Funny Names Groups News Definitions Miles Spots Posts Thoughtful Pens New Ideas Essays Blogs Blogging Miles Away Bloggers

Author:Steve Rubel

“My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people: those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group; there was much less competition.”

“As you may or may not know, in keeping with the high-class tone of Beverly Hills, our police force is probably the most snobbish group of gendarmes in the world. It is said that the Beverly Hills Police Department is so fancy that it has an unlisted number.”

Knows World May Said Funny Force Numbers Class Groups Police Hills California Tone Fancy Department Police Force Beverly Hills Police Department Snobbish High Class

Author:Jack Benny

“It's funny, we all really, really got along. I don't know how it was in years past but this year, I was really with a good group of people. No one tried to sabotage each other or steal the other ones moments.”

People Knows Years Moments Funny Past Know How Groups Stealing Sabotage Years Past

Author:LaToya London

“Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens.”

Home Happens Kids Funny Groups Team Higher Gold Chinese Teenager Score Olympics Thrilling Gymnastics London Olympics

Author:Jay Leno

“I was at a dinner party with a group of people, and we were talking about fake names. You know, how its difficult to come up with a really great fake name. Its a very specific type of gift. You don't want to go too far into the silly, and you don't want to go too far into the banal. I always thought one of the funniest names ever was Gern Blanston, which came from a Steve Martin routine on one of his early records.”

People Knows Want Funny Names Difficult Party Talking Know How Records Groups Type Come Up Dinner Silly Fake Routine Really Great Dinner Party

Author:Paul Rudd

“From my close observation of writers... they fall into two groups: 1) those who bleed copiously and visibly at any bad review, and 2) those who bleed copiously and secretly at any bad review.”

Writing Two Humor Funny Science Fall Secret Groups Criticism Observation Reviews Bad Reviews

Book:Gold: the final science fiction collection

Source: Gold: the final science fiction collection

“Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.”

Love Funny Mother Careers Four Groups Majors Humorous Guilt Witty Secret Love Food Love

Author:Cathy Guisewite

“Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself.”

Funny Groups Humorous Witty Rebel

Author:Cathy Guisewite

“If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"”

Ifs Humor Funny Pay Groups Offers Notes Dinner Checks Thanks Wallets Group Of Friends

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.”

People Funny Groups Havens Photograph Criminals Administration Reaganomics

Author:George Carlin

“I'm in a weird position, because I like rainbows, but I'm not gay. So whenever I go out wearing a rainbow shirt, I have to put "Not gay." But I'm not against gays, so under that I'll have to put "... but supportive." It's weird how one group of people took refracted light. That's very greedy, gays.”

People Humor Light Funny Groups Position Gay Shirts Rainbow Greedy Supportive

Author:Demetri Martin

“Eggs! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance!”

Humor Funny Groups Substance Eggs Fart

Author:Dylan Moran

“I once had a problem ... so I tried group sex. Now I have a new problem - who to thank.”

Problem Humor Funny Sex Groups

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors.”

Humor School Funny Groups Students Mets High School Officials Survivor Association Rifles High School Students

Author:Tina Fey

“If you look at a group of people that had faith, it's got to be the Jews. They followed Moses through the desert for 40 years with no map. There had to be one guy in the back, like, 'I don't think he knows where he's going.'”

People Ifs Thinking Knows Years Looks Humor Funny Guy Groups Jew Desert Maps Moses

Author:Adam Ferrara

“You never want to be the worst bowler of the group-because then everyone treats you like you have cancer. "You can do it! We're praying for you." The advice starts. "Use a heavier ball." "Keep your arm straight." "You should get a vasectomy." If you're really bad at bowling like me, they'll ask if want the bumpers up. Not that bowling is that complex anyway. "You want the bumpers? We can get rid of the pins. Why don't you take this coloring book and sit in the corner?"”

“You ever mix two different groups of friends? That can be stressful. You always feel like you have to prep 'em. You're like, "These people over here, uh, they don't think I drink. And don't be thrown by my British accent."”

People Thinking Feels Two Different Funny Comedy Groups Like You Drink British Thrown Ems Accents Stressful Preps Group Of Friends

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get my hair cut on Dekalb Avenue. I never been in a barbershop and heard a bunch of brothers talking about Jews. Black people don't hate Jews. Black people hate white people! We don't got time to dice white people up into little groups. I hate everybody! I don't care if you just got here. "Hey, I'm Romanian." "You Romanian cracker!"”