“We've been able to watch on our television screens sophisticated weaponry find a building; and we've seen dramatic reports from the front where Pulitzer Prize-to-be winning reporters stood up and declared, the United States is attacked, and all that.” StatesHumorAblePoliticalWinningUnitedWatchesUnited StatesFrontsTelevisionBuildingScreensDramaticReportsPrizeSophisticatedReportersStood UpPolitical HumorWeaponry Author:George W. Bush
“The Senate needs to leave enough money in the proposed budget to not only reduce all marginal rates, but to eliminate the death tax, so that people who build up assets are able to transfer them from one generation to the next, regardless of a person's race.” PeopleNeedsPersonsEnoughHumorAblePoliticalNextRaceGenerationsTaxesRateBudgetsAssetsSenateTransfersPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“Then I went for a run with the other dog and just walked. And I started thinking about a lot of things. I was able to - I can't remember what it was. Oh, the inaugural speech, started thinking through that.” ThinkingI CanHumorRunningAbleRememberPoliticalDogSpeechPolitical HumorInauguralInaugural Speech Author:George W. Bush
“I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."” ShouldSaidHumorAbleFunnyToo MuchSwimmingSoupWaitress Author:Frank Carson
“I thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn't be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article "Drunk Driver Hits Drunk Walker Drunkety-Drunk I'm So Drunk."” PeopleIfsHumorMightAbleFunnyLastsExampleDrinkNewspapersDrunkHeyTitlesHolidayDriversArticlesDrankMaking UpWalkers Book:Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories Source: Sleepwalk with Me: and Other Painfully True Stories
“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.” ThinkingShouldLongCountryBodyHumorAbleFunnyWiseFoodColdEatingRateAssBlockCaliforniaDietsVegetarianVeganYou ChooseVegetarianismVegetarian HealthKilling YourselfFree CountryVegan HealthDrivewayVegetarian FoodVegan FoodWise Ass Author:Scott Adams