“People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave my husband for not being Paul Newman.” PeopleLongHumorFunnySecretCenturyCoupleHusbandAskingForgivingMy HusbandQuartersLong AgoMatrimonyNewmanQuarter Of A Century Book:I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression Source: I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression
“If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.” IfsMenFirstsEndsHumorFunnyFilmDoorsWeekHusbandCamerasVideoMy HusbandScreamLocksBathroomYour HusbandVideo Cameras Author:Rita Rudner
“My sister Wendy has a husband and two children, and they have a family photo on top of the VCR, where they're all looking slightly to the left. As though something is going on over there! I guess something happened over to the left that made everybody happy! Except my sister is cross-eyed, so she can't quite pull it off. One eye is right-on.” ChildrenMadeTwoHumorEyeFunnyLeftHappenedHusbandCrossesMy SisterWendyVcrFamily Photo Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.” MenBookHumorFunnyWatchesHusbandFunctionCombinationPianoAddressesMy HusbandMultipleTelescopesAddress Books Author:Rita Rudner
“Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."” MenSaidHumorFunnyHateSexLosesHusbandBeatsTennisMy Husband Author:Rita Rudner
“Poor soul - very sad; her late husband, you know, a very sad death - eaten by missionaries - poor soul.” KnowsSoulHumorFunnyPoorHusbandLateVery Sad Author:William Archibald Spooner
“An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband wanted to know who the other man was.” KnowsMenHumorWantedFunnyWifeBirthHusbandTwinsIrishmen Author:Frank Carson
“Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: "No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat."” HumorFunnyHusbandCatCancer Author:Tina Fey