“Never go to clubs with metal detectors. Sure it feels safe inside. But what about all those niggas waiting outside with guns? They know you ain't got one.” KnowsFeelsHumorFunnyWaitingSafeGunClubsMetalsMetal Detectors Author:Chris Rock
“Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook.” FirstsHumorFunnyObjectsPicksTeethChairsIronMetalsHookDentist Author:Bill Cosby
“I played in a death-metal band. People either loved us or hated us. Or they thought we were OK.” PeopleHumorFunnyBandHatedMetalsMetal BandDeath Metal Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I went to a heavy metal concert. The singer yelled out, "How many of you people feel like human beings tonight?" And then he said, "How many of you feel like animals?" The thing is, everyone cheered after the animals part, but I cheered after the human beings part because I did not know there was a second part to the question.” PeopleKnowsFeelsHumansSaidHumorFunnyHuman BeingsAnimalHeavySingersTonightConcertsMetalsHeavy Metal Author:Mitch Hedberg
“There's a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he's a good conductor?” LongEndsHumorFunnyTrainMilesDriversMetalsLightningBoltsConductorLightning Bolts Author:Bo Burnham
“Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.” ProblemHomeHumorFunnyNaturalRecordsFansListeningSolutionsFolksHeavyBuyingMetalsUnemploymentSelectionNatural SelectionHeavy MetalShotgunsMetal Fans Author:Denis Leary