“Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.” IfsHumorFunnyGuyAssPantsDressings Author:Kristen Schaal
“My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?” KnowsRealHumorFunnyComedyHeroHappeningsPantsBeltsLoopsReal Heroes Author:Mitch Hedberg
“You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.” KnowsMenShouldEndsHumorFunnyDrinkPantsBailJack DanielsWild Man Author:Dave Attell
“If you take off your pants and her first reaction is, "Awwww, look at it...like a little baby Jesus." Time to buy a Porsche.” IfsFirstsLooksLittlesHumorFunnyJesusBabyReactionsPantsPorscheBaby Jesus Author:Dave Attell
“Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.” KnowsHumorEyeFunnySpeakForgetPantsSpeak English Author:David Cross
“I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.” PeopleHumorFunnyNamesMetsPantsGangstersPull Ups Author:Tim Vine
“A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants."” MenHumorFunnyPartyFrontsHe ManDressesCome UpSupposed To BeFancyPantsPrematureEjaculationPremature Ejaculation Author:Tommy Cooper
“I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.” ThinkingHumorHandsFunnyShakesPants Author:George Lopez