“The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house.” IfsHumorFunnyJobsHouseProgramDriversDesirableYou Might Be A Redneck IfBeer DrinkingBeer DrinkersWrong Job Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“We waited for Congress to act. They couldn't act on the issue. So I just went ahead and signed an executive order which will unleash - [applause] - which says the federal agencies will not discriminate against faith-based programs. They ought to welcome the armies of compassion as opposed to turning them away.” HumorPoliticalOrderCompassionIssuesOughtProgramArmyCongressWelcomeAgencyExecutivesApplausePolitical HumorFaith BasedExecutive Orders Author:George W. Bush
“We should fund the armies of compassion, we should not discriminate against faith-based programs.” ShouldHumorPoliticalCompassionProgramArmyFundPolitical HumorFaith Based Author:George W. Bush
“It is one of the great goals of my administration to invigorate the spirit of involvement and citizenship. We will encourage faith-based and community programs without changing their mission.” HumorPoliticalSpiritGoalCommunityProgramMissionsAdministrationCitizenshipInvolvementPolitical HumorFaith Based Author:George W. Bush
“I don't see how we can allow public dollars to fund programs where spite and hate is the core of the message.” HumorPoliticalHateMessagesProgramDollarsCoreSpiteFundPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“In spite of conflicting signals - and in spite of a popular culture that sometimes puts down their innocence - most of our kids are good kids. Large numbers do volunteer work. Nearly all believe in God, and most practice their faith. Teen pregnancy and violence are actually going down. Across America, under a program called True Love Waits, nearly a million teens have pledged themselves to abstain from sex until marriage.” BelieveSometimesHumorKidsAmericaPoliticalCultureSexWaitingNumbersPracticeMillionsViolenceProgramInnocenceSpitePregnancyBelieve In GodTeensVolunteerSignalsLarge NumbersPopular CulturePolitical HumorTeen PregnancyVolunteer Work Author:George W. Bush
“We need to have mentoring programs energized by government, paid for by government, but who exist not because of government. Teen Challenge is a way to get people off drugs and alcohol. Teen Challenge is a faith-based program that changes people's hearts.” PeopleWayNeedsHeartHumorGovernmentPoliticalChallengesDrugProgramPaidScaryAlcoholMentoringDrugs And AlcoholPolitical HumorFaith Based Author:George W. Bush
“We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program.” StatesHumorPoliticalSocialReligiousGroupsProgramLocalsPolitical HumorSocial Programs Author:George W. Bush
“We should - we will - welcome people of faith into the political process... It is essential that believers enter the arena. Your involvement in politics helps determine how well our democracy works. We have finally learned that government programs cannot solve our problems. Government can hand out money, but government cannot put hope in our hearts or a sense of purpose in our lives.” PeopleShouldWellsHeartHelpingProblemHumorHandsGovernmentPoliticalPurposeProcessDemocracyOur LivesEssentialsProgramDetermineSolveBelieverWelcomeArenaInvolvementPolitical HumorGovernment Programs Author:George W. Bush
“Think about that. Two hundred and eighty-five new or expanded programs, $2 trillion more in new spending, and not one new bureaucrat to file out the forms or answer the phones?” ThinkingTwoHumorFormPoliticalAnswersFiveHundredProgramPhonesSpendingEightyFilesBureaucratsPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“Always keep a smile. I attribute my long life to that. I believe I will die laughing. That's part of my program.” BelieveLongHumorFunnyDiesI BelieveLaughingProgramAttributesLong Life Author:Jeanne Calment
“There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.” HumorFunnyNightSpaceSunProgramSpace Program Author:Frank Carson
“Does anyone find it ironic how a program aimed at old people is called 'Countdown'?” PeopleDoeHumorFunnyProgramIronicOld PeopleCountdown Author:Frankie Boyle
“Modern cyberspace is a deadly festering swamp, teeming with dangerous programs such as 'viruses,' 'worms,' 'Trojan horses' and 'licensed Microsoft software' that can take over your computer and render it useless.” HumorFunnyModernDangerousComputerProgramHorseUselessOver YouSoftwareWormsVirusesMicrosoftSwampsCyberspaceTrojansTrojan HorseFestering Author:Dave Barry