“I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.” PeopleCountryStatesWholeHumorFunnyAmericaSidesComedyPercentFolksTraveled Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball. Basketball, soybeans, hogs and basketball. Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic. Berkeley is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.” StatesHumorFunnyBasketballCoffeeDedicatedAthleticAngstIndianaHogBerkeleyPotholesSoybeans Author:Carolyn Jones
“The Middle Eastern states aren't nations; they're quarrels with borders.” StatesHumorFunnyNationsMiddleBordersEasternQuarrels Author:P. J. O'Rourke
“I appreciate that question because I, in the state of Texas, had heard a lot of discussion about a faith-based initiative eroding the important bridge between church and state.” ImportantStatesHumorPoliticalChurchHeardAppreciateBridgesDiscussionTexasInitiativeChurch And StatePolitical HumorFaith Based Author:George W. Bush
“To date, we've arrested or otherwise dealt with many key commanders of al Qaeda... All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have been arrested in many countries. Many others have met a different fate. Let's put it this way - they are no longer a problem to the United States and our friends and allies.” WayHas BeensDifferentCountryStatesProblemHumorPoliticalUnitedUnited StatesFateKeysMetsTerroristAlsAlliesCommandersArrestedAl QaedaPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“Immigrants bring to America the values of faith in God, love of family, hard work and self reliance - the values that made us a great nation to begin with. We've all seen those values in action, through the service and sacrifice of more than 35,000 foreign-born men and women currently on active duty in the United States military.” MenMadeSelfHardStatesHumorActionAmericaPoliticalValuesNationsBornUnitedUnited StatesSacrificeMilitaryDutyHard WorkMen And WomenActiveGod LoveImmigrantsFaith In GodSelf RelianceRelianceFamily LovePolitical HumorGreat NationsUnited States MilitaryService And Sacrifice Author:George W. Bush
“And I strongly support the faith-based initiative that we're proposing, because I don't believe it violates the line between the separation of church and state, and I believe it's going to make America a better place.” BelieveStatesHumorAmericaPoliticalI BelieveChurchLinesSupportDon't BelieveSeparationInitiativeBetter PlaceChurch And StateSeparation Of Church And StatePolitical HumorFaith Based Author:George W. Bush
“We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program.” StatesHumorPoliticalSocialReligiousGroupsProgramLocalsPolitical HumorSocial Programs Author:George W. Bush
“We've been able to watch on our television screens sophisticated weaponry find a building; and we've seen dramatic reports from the front where Pulitzer Prize-to-be winning reporters stood up and declared, the United States is attacked, and all that.” StatesHumorAblePoliticalWinningUnitedWatchesUnited StatesFrontsTelevisionBuildingScreensDramaticReportsPrizeSophisticatedReportersStood UpPolitical HumorWeaponry Author:George W. Bush
“I'm also honored to be here with the speaker of the House - just happens to be from the state of Illinois. I'd like to describe the speaker as a trustworthy man. He's the kind of fellow who says when he gives you his word he means it. Sometimes that doesn't happen all the time in the political process.” MenGivingKindMeanSometimesStatesHumorHappensPoliticalHouseProcessFellowsSpeakersHonoredTrustworthyPolitical HumorIllinois Author:George W. Bush
“Redefining the role of the United States from enablers to keep the peace to enablers to keep the peace from peacekeepers is going to be an assignment.” StatesHumorPoliticalUnitedRolesUnited StatesAssignmentsPolitical HumorBushismFunny BushRedefiningPeacekeepersEnablers Author:George W. Bush
“I mean, these good folks are revolutionizing how businesses conduct their business. And, like them, I am very optimistic about our position in the world and about its influence on the United States. We're concerned about the short-term economic news, but long-term I'm optimistic. And so, I hope investors, you know - secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time - that I've always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics.” KnowsWorldMeanLongStatesHumorPoliticalFoundTermUnitedUnited StatesInfluenceEconomicPositionPeriodsNewsConcernedEconomicsInvestmentFolksOptimisticLong TermInvestorsSaltShort TermPolitical HumorBest Investment Author:George W. Bush
“I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development. Mel Martinez from the state of Florida.” HumansStatesHumorPoliticalDevelopmentSecretaryFloridaHousingHuman DevelopmentPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“Well, that's going to be up to the pundits and the people to make up their mind. I'll tell you what is a president for him, for example, talking about my record in the state of Texas. I mean, he's willing to say anything in order to convince people that I haven't had a good record in Texas.” PeopleMindWellsMeanStatesHumorPoliticalOrderPresidentTalkingRecordsHavensExampleWillingConvinceTexasSay AnythingPolitical HumorPunditsGood Records Author:George W. Bush
“It's my first trip as president of the United States.” FirstsStatesHumorPoliticalPresidentUnitedUnited StatesPolitical Humor Author:George W. Bush
“There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and raped the churches by misinterpreting what the Founders had in mind in the First Amendment to the Constitution.” MindFirstsStatesHumorChristianChurchReligiousModernConstitutionCourtPositive AtheismSeparationSupremeAmendmentsFoundersSupreme CourtFirst AmendmentChurch And StateSeparation Of Church And StateChristian Faith Author:Jerry Falwell
“Now, the country is in a terrible state, and you've blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that... wrll, it's because the national anthem is boring.” CountryStatesHumorFunnyValuesNumbersTerribleRateBoringPoundsUnemploymentAnthemNational AnthemUnemployment Rate Author:Billy Connolly
“The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we'll dig a hole deep enough to deliver her to Satan ourselves.” StatesEnoughHumorGovernmentFunnyDiesSpendingHolesSatanFuneralConsideringScotlandShovels Author:Frankie Boyle
“I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.” StatesHumorFunnyGirlBuildingUglyPlanesEmpiresEmpire State BuildingEmpire StateUgly Girl Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“The Washington State Supreme Court on Thursday announced a two-year suspension for a lawyer found having jailhouse sex with a triple murder defendant she was representing. HaHa! Jokes on you dummies... I'm not really a lawyer!” YearsTwoStatesHumorFunnySexJokesMurderCourtCaughtLawyerSupremeTwo YearsSupreme CourtRepresentingThursdaySuspensionHahaDummyWashington State Author:Tina Fey
“The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford Escorts, just falling apart.” HumansStatesBodyHumorFunnyFallBornMinutesConstantDecayFalling ApartHuman Body Author:Adam Ferrara