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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up.”

“But scientists, who ought to know Assure us that it must be so. Oh, let us never, never doubt What nobody is sure about.”

Knows Doubt Ought Humorous Scientist

Book:Delphi Works of Hilaire Belloc (Illustrated)

Source: Delphi Works of Hilaire Belloc (Illustrated)

“The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.”

Ifs Way Political Politics Prayer Party Lord Clear Ought Republican Humorous Asking Democrat Bless Conventions Republican Party Carrying On

Book:Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

Source: Will Rogers Speaks: Over 1,000 Timeless Quotations for Public Speakers (writers, Politicians, Comedians, Browsers ...)

“I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.”

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.”

People Children Earth Funny Lasts Parent Ought Humorous Parenting Witty

Author:Samuel Butler

“A wise man sees as much as he ought, not as much as he can.”

Men Inspirational Wisdom Wise Ought Achievement Humorous Profound Insane

Author:Michel de Montaigne

“Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.”

Ifs Should Stories Science Effects Produce Cold Ought Humorous Love Story Treated Sarcasm Propositions Fifth Romanticism Detection Euclid Exact Sciences Unemotional

Author:Arthur Conan Doyle

“An actor who knows his business ought to be able to make the London telephone directory sound enthralling.”

Knows Able Funny Actors Sound Acting Ought Humorous London Telephones

Author:Donald Sinden