“As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.”
Humorous Quotes
Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.
Related topics
Humorous Quotes
Source: Leaving the Surface
Source: Please Don't Eat the Daisies
“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”
“Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.”
Source: The Fran Lebowitz Reader
Source: A Collection of Essays
“Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?”
“I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.”
“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?”
“A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.”
“Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.”
“Never have children, only grandchildren.”
Source: Palimpsest: a memoir
“There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you.”
“Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.”
“The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”
Source: The Best of Brain Droppings
“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.”
“You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.”
“A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother.”
Source: Bite-Size Twain: Wit and Wisdom from the Literary Legend
“Insomnia: A contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.”
“The persons hardest to convince that they're at the retirement age are children at bedtime.”
“Always obey your parents - when they are present.”
Source: Mark Twain
“Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.”
Source: The conduct of inquiry
Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader
Source: An Experiment in Criticism
“You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone.”
“When you are dealing with a child, keep all your wits about you, and sit on the floor.”
“Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.”