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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“There's little in taking or giving, There's little in water or wine: This living, this living, this living, Was never a project of mine. Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is The gain of the one at the top, For art is a form of catharsis, And love is a permanent flop, And work is the province of cattle, And rest's for a clam in a shell, So I'm thinking of throwing the battle - Would you kindly direct me to hell?”

ThinkingGivingLittlesArtHardFormWaterLove IsStruggleHellMinesBattleProjectsArt IsHumorousGainsDirectAnd LoveWinePermanentThrowingShellsProvincesCattleCatharsisClams
Book:Collected poems: Not so deep as a well
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“It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day. Perhaps I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it. I don't think that I mastered anything beyond the date (which I knew) and the signature (which I guessed at). There's a singular and a perpetual charm in a letter of yours; it never grows old, it never loses its novelty. Other letters are read and thrown away and forgotten, but yours are kept forever - unread. One of them will last a reasonable man a lifetime.”

IfsThinkingMenShouldAbleLastsFoundGrowsLosesForeverHumorousLettersShould HaveLifetimeForgottenPleasantCharmReasonableThrownPerpetualNoveltySignaturesDecipherReasonable Man
Author:Thomas Bailey Aldrich
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“There's a lot of different ways that a song would be a challenge to parody. There are a lot of songs that would ostensibly be a good candidate for parody, yet I can't think of a clever enough idea. Some songs are too repetitive for me to be able to fashion a humorous set of lyrics around. Some songs flat-out just don't work creatively for me.”

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Author:Al Yankovic
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“They are born, put in a box; they go home to live in a box; they study by ticking boxes; they go to what is called "work" in a box, where they sit in their cubicle box; they drive to the grocery store in a box to buy food in a box; they talk about thinking "outside the box"; and when they die they are put in a box.”

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Book:The Bed of Procrustes: Philosophical and Practical Aphorisms
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“People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”

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Author:Isaac Asimov
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“The brand is lying about something, or at least misrepresenting it. When I read a bottle of shampoo or moisturizer or other beauty product, I always perceive a dark subtext. The words haunt me. It comes across as humorous to the reader/audience, but in fact the words really do make me a little bit queasy. Nothing is as easy or natural as consumer brands want us to think - no problem is as resolvable. Your hair will fall out, eventually. Yet we do have these brands, and we line our shelves with them. There's an inherent irony.”

ThinkingWantLittlesFactsProblemLyingFallEasyBitsNaturalLinesDarkAudienceProductsHairReaderLittle BitHumorousBrandsConsumersPerceiveIronyBottlesInherentShelvesNo ProblemWant UShampooSubtextBeauty Products
Author:Aaron Belz
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“I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one o'clock in the morning, the baillie's grown-up son became insensible while attempting the first verse of 'Willie brewed a peck o' maut'; and he having been, for half an hour before, the only other man visible above the mahogany, it occurred to my uncle that it was almost time to think about going.”

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Book:The Pickwick Papers: The Posthumous Papers of the Pickwick Club
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“It's been part of my signature to incorporate my humor with my dance, or even just how I'm feeling. If I'm feeling humorous, which I am, most of the day, I tend to incorporate that. If I'm dancing freestyle, if I feel like I've gotten too serious, while I'm moving, I'll think, "All right, it's time to lighten up a little bit," and I do. It just feels good.”

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Author:Stephen Boss
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“For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.”

ThinkingKnowsSeemsInterestingNewsHumorousExcitingObjectivesHopefullyFakeSubjectiveCatchingNuggetsCatching On
Author:Jon Stewart
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“I was on Batman with "Superheavy" or "Zero Year" where there was a lot of fun and bombast, but it was also personal. [In All-Star], I wanted to take that to its complete extreme, like the end of the Earth extreme, where it's over-the-top humorous, yet at the same time really deeply about what I think is of this particular moment in time, at least for me. The things I'm terrified of and the things I'm hopeful about. My life is the page.”

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Author:Scott Snyder
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“Considering that "literary fiction" is a sub-genre that's not quite the same as "literature," either, it follows that the short, semi-humorous bits posted online for all to see are something absolutely other, uniquely themselves compared to canonical short stories, for example, and so it'd probably be best to call it something other than "online lit" since I honestly think very little of it can compare to so-called "literature."”

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Author:Lee Klein
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“One of the glories of doing the book So You Want to Be President? was the shifts in tone, where I was able to be humorous and then very serious. And the impeachment page is certainly the best example of that. I didn't have to think too much about how to present this one. I got the idea right away that a good way of showing the shame of President Nixon would be to put him down in the shadows under the Lincoln Monument, with Lincoln sort of glaring down at him from an elevated, better-lit position.”

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Author:David Small
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“I think the definition of someone who's still a swinger is a person who remains signed up on swinger websites because they're "humorous." If you'd been married to an alcoholic and found yourself dating someone whose couch cushions were stuffed with empty bottles, you might conclude you're part of the problem and are attracted to men who are going to keep making you miserable in the same oh-so-familiar way. I think you should look to date someone for whom the idea of a swinger website makes him want to slather himself in sanitizing gel.”

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Author:Emily Yoffe
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“This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.”

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Author:Woody Allen
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“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

ThinkingMenInspirationalWisdomEvilPeaceFreedomLibertyRightsSocietyMilitaryWise WordsGoodnessHumorousBraverySocial JusticeInjusticeWittyTyrannyTriumphGood And EvilGood ManSilence IsIdlenessBadassDoing NothingFreedom And LibertyInactionCriminal MindFreedom LibertyProperty RightsCivil DisobedienceTriumphantPeace And JusticeEvil PeopleHuman TraffickingRights And FreedomsEvil ManTraffickingBystandersEvil ThingsEternal VigilanceGood Against EvilNecessary EvilLiberty And JusticeMind OpeningLesser EvilWicked ManTwo EvilsPrice Of FreedomGood EvilLiberty And EqualityEvil WomenMoney Is The Root Of All EvilNecessary ThingsLesser Of Two EvilsRemaining SilentNature Of EvilSocial EvilsEvil GovernmentGoodness In The WorldEvil And SufferingTriumph Over EvilGood WarriorOvercoming Evil
Author:Edmund Burke
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