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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“"Vell," said Mr. Weller, "Now I s'pose he'll want to call some witnesses to speak to his character, or p'raps to prove a alleybi. I've been a turnin' the bis'ness over in my mind, and he may make his-self easy, Sammy. I've got some friends as'll do either for him, but my adwice 'ud be this here-never mind the character, and stick to the alleybi. Nothing like a alleybi, Sammy, nothing."”

Want Mind May Said Self Character Funny Speak Easy Prove Humorous Sticks Rap Witness

Book:The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

Source: The posthumous papers of the Pickwick Club

“Hey, Rosalie? Do you know how to drown a blonde? Stick a mirror to the bottom of a pool.”

Knows Know How Humorous Mirrors Sticks Bottom Hey Do You Know Pool Blonde

Author:Stephenie Meyer

“I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!”

Thinking Should Pleasure Walking Activity Lows Draws Humorous Balls Sticks Following Intellect Hitting Crooked

Book:Napalm & Silly Putty

Source: Napalm & Silly Putty

“The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.”

Persons Funny Turns Wonder Music Audience Player Humorous Sticks Shakes Peculiar Orchestra Conductor

Author:Victor Borge

“Nicknames stick to people, and the most ridiculous are the most adhesive.”

People Names Humorous Sticks Ridiculous Nicknames Adhesive

Book:Sam Slick's Wise Saws and Modern Instances: Or, What He Said, Did, Or Invented

Source: Sam Slick's Wise Saws and Modern Instances: Or, What He Said, Did, Or Invented