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Humour Quotes

Browse 4371 quotes about Humour.

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Humour Quotes

“Once upon a time, a historian told me that the most important choice a new historian could make was of his or her specialist subject. Most of the good stuff was far too overcrowded, so you had to pick about in the exotic and extinct. His recommendations were the Picts or the Minoans, because hardly anything was known about them and you could spend a happy lifetime of speculation.”

ImportantChoicesStuffKnownHistorySubjectsHumourPicksLifetimeHistorianHappy LifeSpeculationExoticOnce Upon A TimeSpecialistsRecommendationsImportant Choices
Author:A. A. Gill
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“A man of knowing attains to a sense of humour. Let this always be remembered. If you see someone who has no sense of humour, know well that that man has not known at all. If you come across a serious man, then you can be certain that he is a pretender. Knowing brings sincerity but all seriousness disappears. Knowing brings a playfulness; knowing brings a sense of humour. The sense of humour is a must.”

IfsKnowsMenWellsCertainKnownKnowingHumourSeriousDisappearRememberedSinceritySeriousnessPlayfulnessPretenderSerious Man
Author:Rajneesh
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“POTABLE, n. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages and in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific-and without science we are as the snakes and toads.”

SaidCountryAgeScienceSufferingWaterNaturalRaceKnownHumourBearsBasesMedicineDrinkingInstinctInventionCulinarySubstitutesDisorderThirstSnakesLiquidIngenuitySuitableAversionDiligentDrinking WaterToadsBeveragesUncivilized
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)
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“BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Etna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.”

MenFirstsMadeEarthScienceWaterBornKnownCenturyHumourSonGrewBirthHolyGrew UpStonesWineDisasterHolesBlockEggsPriestsLightningStrokesSkullsUniformityCellarsCavernsHoly Water
Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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“It is well-known what a middleman is: he is a man who bamboozles one party and plunders the other.”

MenWellsPartyBusinessKnownHumourAgentsWell KnownPlunderMiddlemenBamboozle
Book:The Works of Benjamin Disraeli, Earl of Beaconsfield, Embracing Novels, Romances, Plays, Poems, Biography, Short Stories and Great Speeches: Coningsby, v. 2. Selected speeches
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“Most sane human beings who have managed to attain and retain fame each uses it to dramatically increase their name’s chances of being remembered until Jesus comes back, since their heart cannot do what they consciously or unconsciously lust for, that is to say, for it to beat until Jesus returns.”

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Book:The Use and Misuse of Children
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