“The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out.” TryingYearsHas BeensSaidPastHousePresidentWhiteSecretHalfFiveFive YearsWhite HousePresident ObamaFenceJumpingIncidentsOther HalfSecret ServiceIntruders Author:Conan O'Brien
“You probably heard about the big prisoner swap with Cuba. A man who has been incarcerated in Havana for five years is back home in the United States. And we sent them some prisoners. The deal still has to be approved by President Obama and Bud Selig.” MenYearsHas BeensStillsStatesHomeBigsPresidentUnitedDealsUnited StatesFiveHeardFive YearsPrisonerPresident ObamaCubaBudBack HomeApprovedHavana Author:David Letterman
“President Obama has two years left as president. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets to appoint two new Kardashian husbands.” IfsYearsTwoLeftPresidentHusbandTwo YearsPresident Obama Author:David Letterman
“Rand Paul is taking a week-long break from talking to the media to spend time with his family before he officially announces that he is running for president. Because nothing motivates you to be on the road for two straight years like a week alone with your family.” YearsLongTwoRunningPresidentTalkingBreakWeekMediaOur FamilyEnd TimesSpend Time Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The film 'Boyhood' won the Golden Globe for best drama. It follows one guy's journey over the course of 12 years - or as Mitt Romney calls that, 'running for president.'” YearsRunningFilmGuyCoursesPresidentJourneyDramaGoldenGlobesRomneyBoyhood Author:Jimmy Fallon
“During a recent interview, President Obama revealed that his favorite movie this year was 'Boyhood.' It makes sense. If there's one thing Obama can identify with, it's aging several years over the course of a couple of hours.” IfsYearsCoursesPresidentHoursOne ThingCoupleAgingMake SenseInterviewsPresident ObamaBoyhood Author:Jimmy Fallon
“It was the 60th anniversary of 'Face the Nation.' During his interview, President Obama said, 'Our country doesn't fear the future. We grab it.' Nothing says you grab the future like going on a 60-year-old show hosted by a 77-year-old-man to speak to a 90-year-old audience.” MenYearsSaidCountryShowsFacesSpeakNationsPresidentAudienceOur CountryInterviewsOld ManPresident Obama Author:Jimmy Fallon
“They are having a panel look into the intelligence failures in Iraq. It is a seven-person panel and it will include Senator John McCain, but the findings from this panel will not be issued until after the election. President Bush says the commission can go off and report back in a year, you know, the same way it works in the Texas National Guard.” KnowsWayYearsLooksPersonsPresidentFindingsElectionSevenIraqReportsTexasSenatorsPresident BushMccainNational Guard Author:Bill Maher
“In the first week of the showings of the The Matrix Revolutions, The Godfather and The Godfather Part II played on cable television. I started watching, and I was held; I wanted to go through the process again. Can anyone credit that 30 years from now there will be an audience for the three parts of The Matrix, anywhere? Even if Keanu Reeves is our president by then?” IfsYearsFirstsWantedFilmThreeProcessPresidentAudienceWeekTelevisionRevolutionHollywoodCreditCables Author:Edward Jay Epstein
“Or I could see Fish, Just a button up, Like a Mayor, Like a President, Just demands so much from his teammates, Has played with so many great players, But still respects everybody. He's 38 years old, And he has nothing else to prove, And I said, "Fish you wanna come get some shots up with me?" And first thing he says is "Yes." He always wants to learn. Even though he's done so much in this league, Played with so many great players, He always wants to learn, And that motivated me To know that it's never a point Where you can stop getting better. And he's a guy that made me realize that.” KnowsWantYearsFirstsMadeSaidStillsDoneGuyPresidentRealizingPlayerDemandProveShotsFishesLeagueGet BetterNbaMotivatedButtonsTeammateMayorsMvpButton Ups Author:Kevin Durant
“It's the [George Bush] president's fiscal policies that have driven up the biggest deficits in American history. He's added more debt to the debt of the United States in four years than all the way from George Washington to Ronald Reagan put together.” WayYearsStatesTogetherPresidentUnitedUnited StatesFourPolicyDebtDrivenFour YearsAmerican HistoryDeficitFiscal Policy Author:John F. Kerry
“I think actually the American people are pretty realistic. In polls they ask what do you think of the president's policies. Is he on the right track? They say yes. They ask them how long will it take for the economy to recover. And people are saying two years.” PeopleThinkingYearsLongTwoAsksPresidentEconomyPolicyTrackTwo YearsRealisticPollsRight Track Author:Austan Goolsbee
“Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to embarrass President Obama for another four years.” YearsStoriesPresidentFourPresident ObamaDeniedFour YearsTicketsReplacedBiden Author:Jay Leno
“It is important that Miers not be confirmed unless, in her 61st year, she suddenly and unexpectedly is found to have hitherto undisclosed interests and talents pertinent to the court's role. Otherwise the sound principle of substantial deference to a president's choice of judicial nominees will dissolve into a rationalization for senatorial abdication of the duty to hold presidents to some standards of seriousness that will prevent them from reducing the Supreme Court to a private plaything useful for fulfilling whims on behalf of friends.” YearsImportantChoicesFoundSoundPresidentInterestPrinciplesRolesTalentDutyStandardsCourtSupremeFulfillingSupreme CourtBehalfSeriousnessReducingJudicialWhimDeferencePertinentAbdication Author:George Will
“I was in elective politics for 24 years. I've made four national races, two for president, two for vice president. I have found there are other ways to serve, and I'm enjoying them.” WayYearsMadeTwoFoundEnjoyPresidentRaceFourVicesVice President Author:Al Gore
“Three times a year, theres Strategicon convention, and I go for the board games. It happens Presidents Day, Labor Day, and Memorial Day weekends. You go and take a look at the new board games and meet a couple of board game designers, and you can check out games you dont own from the library and then return them.” YearsLooksHappensThreeGamesPresidentReturnCoupleLaborLibraryChecksBoardsDesignerWeekendConventionsThree TimesMemorialMemorial DayLabor DayPresidents DayBoard GamesMemorial Day Weekend Author:Rich Sommer
“I believe that President Obama is here for a reason, but that doesn't mean that he has to stay there next year. The American people have an opportunity to have a say and so I think we just have to do what we think is right - and see what the outcome is. God's got a plan.” PeopleThinkingYearsBelieveMeanReasonNextOpportunityI BelievePresidentPlansOutcomesPresident ObamaNext Year Author:Vicky Hartzler
“All of our presidents come into office looking so vigorous ... They grow grayer and grayer, and by the time they leave, they’re as white as the building they live in ... I have one big advantage: I’ve been coloring my hair for years. So you’re not going to see me turn white in the White House.” YearsBigsTurnsHouseGrowsPresidentWhiteBuildingHairOfficeAdvantageWhite HouseVigorous Author:Hillary Clinton
“Latin America is very fond of the word "hope." We like to be called the "continent of hope." Candidates for deputy, senator, president, call themselves "candidates of hope." This hope is really something like a promise of heaven, an IOU whose payment is always being put off. It is put off until the next legislative campaign, until next year, until the next century.” YearsAmericaNextHeavenPresidentCenturyPromiseCampaignsCandidatesLatinContinentsSenatorsPaymentNext YearLatin AmericaDeputies Book:Memoirs Source: Memoirs
“The president began this program by executive order. He should immediately end it by executive order. For over a year now, he has said the program is illegal, and yet he does nothing.” ShouldYearsDoeSaidEndsOrderPresidentProgramExecutivesIllegalNsaExecutive Orders Author:Rand Paul
“I think it's time we had a President who will provide the only real economic security: good jobs. A President who will provide middle class payroll tax relief to get money in the pockets of workers who will spend it, not more tax giveaways for those at the top to stimulate the economy in the Cayman Islands and Bermuda. A President who will index the minimum wage to inflation and raise it from a 30 year low, not increase the tax burden on the middle class and those struggling to join it.” ThinkingYearsRealJobsPresidentClassStruggleEconomyEconomicMiddleSecurityTaxesLowsIncreaseRaisesWorkersBurdenIslandsReliefMiddle ClassPocketsMinimumGood JobInflationMinimum WageGet MoneyPayrollEconomic SecurityPayroll TaxTax BurdenBermudaCayman Islands Author:John F. Kerry
“[When her daughter suggested the President refer in his conversation with foreign dignitaries about lawn care to 'fertilizer' instead of to 'manure':] But remember, it took me almost thirty years to get him to call it manure.” YearsCareRememberLanguagePresidentConversationSpeechDaughterThirtyThirty YearsLawnsManureFertilizer Author:Bess Truman
“People tell me, 'Bill, let it go. The Kennedy assassination was years ago. It was just the assassination of a President and the hijacking of our government by a totalitarian regime - who cares? Just let it go.' I say, 'All right then. That whole Jesus thing? Let it go! It was 2,000 years ago! Who cares?'” PeopleYearsWholeGovernmentCareJesusPresidentYears AgoBillsRegimesWho CaresLet It GoAssassinationJust Let It GoTotalitarian RegimesHijackingKennedy Assassination Author:Bill Hicks
“This year, the United States renewed funding of reproductive healthcare through the United Nations Population Fund, and more funding is on the way. The U.S. Congress recently appropriated more than $648 million in foreign assistance to family planning and reproductive health programs worldwide. That's the largest allocation in more than a decade - since we last had a Democratic president, I might add.” WayYearsStatesMightLastsNationsPresidentUnitedMillionsUnited StatesProgramAddDemocraticCongressPopulationDecadesPlanningFundHealthcareAssistanceUnited NationsFundingPopulation ControlFamily PlanningWorld PopulationAllocationReproductive Health Author:Hillary Clinton
“I may not be funny. I may not be a singer. I may not be a damn seamstress. I may have diabetes. I may have really bad vision. I may have one leg. I may not know how to read. I may not know who the vice president is. I may technically be an alien of the state. I may have a Zune. I may not know Excel. I may be two 9-year-olds in a trench coat. I may not have full control of my bowels. I may drive a '94 Honda Civic. I may not “get” cameras. I may dye my hair with Hydrogen Peroxide. I may be afraid of trees. I may be on fire right now. But I'm a fierce queen.” KnowsYearsMayTwoStatesPresidentVisionKnow HowFireTreeHairRight NowCamerasVicesLegsSingersAliensQueensDamnFierceCoatsCivicsVice PresidentDiabetesHydrogenTrenchesI May Not BeBowelsHondaTrench Coats Author:Justin Johnson
“One of the things that you learn, having been in this [President's] office for four years, is the old adage of Abraham Lincoln's. That with public opinion there's nothing you can't do and without public opinion there's very little you can get done.” YearsLittlesDonePresidentOpinionFourOfficeFour YearsPublic OpinionAdagesAbraham Author:Barack Obama
“Reversing structural problems in our economy that have been building up for two decades, that was gonna take time. It was gonna take more than a year. It was gonna take more than two years. It was gonna take more than one term. Probably takes more than one president.” YearsHas BeensTwoProblemPresidentTermEconomyBuildingDecadesTwo YearsTake TimeBuilding Up Author:Barack Obama
“Well, President-elect Barack Obama and his family are gonna spend the holidays in his home state of Hawaii. And you know who couldn't be more thrilled with this? The press, the reporters who follow the president. Well, think about it. After eight years of spending every holiday cutting brush in Crawford, Texas, they get to go to Hawaii!” ThinkingKnowsYearsWellsStatesHomePresidentCuttingPressesEightSpendingBarackHolidayTexasReportersBrushesHawaiiHome State Author:Jay Leno
“Over the last few years, the Islamic world has produced more female presidents and prime ministers than both Europe and North America combined.” WorldYearsLastsAmericaPresidentEuropeFemaleMinistersIslamicPrimePrime MinisterNorth AmericaFemale President Author:Reza Aslan
“The idea that America elected a black man to be its president forty years after it declined to allow Martin Luther King Jr. to stand on a balcony without getting shot still maintains its power to awe and inspire.” MenYearsStillsIdeasAmericaBlackPresidentInspireKingsShotsAweFortyLutherBalconies Author:Charlie Pierce
“When you're running for president, you're a guest in the living room for four years. And if people don't think you're going to be around the living room as a pleasant experience, they're not going to vote for you even if they agree with you.” PeopleIfsThinkingYearsRunningPresidentRoomsFourVoteAgreePleasantFour YearsGuestsLiving Room Author:David Brooks
“For the year after I left government service, I worked as a consultant to the Republican National Committee because the lawyers advised that was the proper way for me to comply with ethics regulations and continue to advise the President.” WayYearsGovernmentLeftPresidentRepublicanEthicsLawyerRegulationCommitteesAdviseConsultantsGovernment Service Author:Karen Hughes
“Her nomination for vice president in 2008 represents the most desperate inclinations of the Republican Party. In two hundred years, I suspect historians will use Palin as an example of how insane America became in the decade following the destruction of the World Trade Center, and her origin story will seem as extraterrestrial and eccentric as Abe Lincoln jumping out of a window to undermine a voting quorum in 1840.” WorldYearsTwoStoriesUseSeemsAmericaPresidentPartyExampleRepublicanHundredWindowDestructionTradeVicesFollowingDecadesInsaneDesperateVotingSuspectsHistorianRepublican PartyJumpingInclinationEccentricVice PresidentPalinNominationsWorld TradeWorld Trade CenterExtraterrestrialAbe Book:I Wear the Black Hat: Grappling with Villains (Real and Imagined) Source: I Wear the Black Hat: Grappling with Villains (Real and Imagined)
“Well, I think that there's a clear record, I worked with Ronald Reagan in the early '80s and his recovery program translated into today's population of about 25 million new jobs in a seven-year period. As Speaker of the House, I worked with President Clinton and he followed with a very similar plan. And we ended up with about 11 million new jobs in a four-year period.” ThinkingYearsWellsTodayJobsHousePresidentMillionsClearRecordsFourPlansPeriodsProgramClintonSevenPopulationRecoveryFour YearsSpeakers80sSeven YearsNew JobPresident Clinton Author:Newt Gingrich
“Herman Cain compared his run for president to Moses leading his people out of Egypt. Cain said it took Moses 40 years to lead his people out of Egypt, but he could do it in 30 minutes or less.” PeopleYearsSaidRunningPresidentMinutesEgyptMosesCain Author:Conan O'Brien
“As President, I will institute a procedure in which all convicted criminals will have this brass ring will be surgically implanted into their foreheads-Americans have a right to know who they can trust. I don't care if you're 5, 6, or 7 years old, if you're a first-time offender, you're gonna go to Purgatory and it's not gonna be fun!” IfsKnowsYearsFirstsCareFunPresidentFirst TimeDon't CareCriminalsRingsI Don't CareProceduresForeheadsInstituteOffendersBrassPurgatory Author:Bob Backlund
“Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.” PeopleMenYearsHas BeensStatesBlackPresidentWhiteUnitedUnited StatesProgressGoes OnVictoryListsBlack PeopleCould Have BeenQualifiedCarver Author:Chris Rock
“When the [US] president writes to Kim Jong Il, the son, the Dear Leader, he doesn't call him Dear Mr President, he calls him Dear Mr Secretary. Have you ever noticed that? Why is that? Because he's not the president of North Korea, he's the head of the Communist Party, the North Korean Workers' Party and he's the head of the Army. He's not head of the state. The head of the state is his father, who's been dead for 15 years.” WritingYearsStatesFatherPresidentPartyLeaderSonArmyWorkersDearCommunistSecretaryKoreaNorth KoreaKoreanKimCommunist PartyUs PresidentNorth Korean Author:Christopher Hitchens
“In 1960 Americans chose John F. Kennedy because they were ready for change. They were ready for new and better ideas. After six years of scandals and failed policies under the Reagan Administration, Americans are again ready for change and stronger leadership. I love my country. That is why I am seeking the Democratic nomination for president.” YearsIdeasCountryPresidentPolicyReadySixStrongerDemocraticSeekingAdministrationScandal1960sNominationsReady For Change Author:Mario Cuomo
“President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not only that, Martha Stewart was chosen as person of the year by Doing Time magazine.” YearsPersonsPresidentWeekChosenMagazinesPresident BushChristmas GiftTime Magazine Author:Conan O'Brien
“We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no income tax this year.” PeopleYearsMadeJobsPresidentOughtEasierTaxesIncomeMade ItPresident BushIncome Tax Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush earned $400,000 for his job as president last year. That's not really that much for being president when you think about it. But President Bush, he doesn't do it for the money, he does it for the eight months of vacation every year.” ThinkingYearsDoeJobsLastsPresidentMonthsEightVacationLast YearPresident Bush Author:Jay Leno
“In his press conference last night, President Bush said he could not remember a single mistake he had made in the last two years. The president's exact quote was: 'I ain't make none mistakes ever.'” YearsMadeSaidTwoLastsRememberNightPresidentMistakePressesTwo YearsConferencesLast NightPresident BushPress ConferencesOne Mistake Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now than they were four years ago?'” YearsPersonsPresidentRichFourYears AgoJust OneVotersFour YearsBetter OffPresident BushAmerican VotersRich Person Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's focusing most on is his own. The White House is now backtracking from its prediction that 2.6 million new jobs will be created in the U.S. this year. They say they were off by roughly 2.6 million jobs.” ThinkingYearsJobsHousePresidentWhiteMillionsWhite HousePredictionsPresident BushNew JobBacktracking Author:Jay Leno
“Republicans in Congress are getting concerned that President Obama will try to use the final year of his term to push through too many controversial laws. Obama would've responded but he was busy drafting his new 'mandatory Mexican gay weed' bill.” TryingYearsUseLawPresidentTermRepublicanGayConcernedBillsFinalsBusyCongressWeedPresident ObamaMexicanControversialDrafting Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Appeasing the Castro brothers will only cause other tyrants from Caracas to Tehran to Pyongyang to see that they can take advantage of President Obama's naiveté during his final two years in office. As a result, America will be less safe as a result of the President's change in policy.” YearsTwoAmericaCausesPresidentChangeResultsPolicyBrotherSafeOfficeAdvantageFinalsTwo YearsTyrantsPresident ObamaCastroTehran Author:Marco Rubio
“I truly feel sorry to all the fans of the games I have made. Ninja Gaiden 2, which will launch on the 3rd of June will be the last Ninja Gaiden I will create. I will also never be able to make Dead or Alive 5. I regret the circumstances that have forced me to leave Tecmo, where I had worked for so many years, and I regret the disappointment this will cause my fans. However, I can no longer continue to work with President Yoshimi Yasuda, a man who chooses not to honor promises even when he is able to do so. I truly hope that nothing like this happens again in the future.” MenFeelsYearsMadeI CanHappensAbleLastsGamesCausesPresidentAliveFansRegretHonorCircumstancesPromiseSorryDisappointmentJuneI RegretNinja Author:Tomonobu Itagaki
“There are reports that French President Francois Hollande had an affair with an actress who is 18 years younger than him. It's pretty serious. Under French law, he could face up to 30 high fives.” YearsFacesLawPresidentSeriousAffairActressesReports Author:Jimmy Fallon
“I'm blown away. I'm flabbergasted the president [Barack Obama] made the phone call to Rouhani after 30-plus, `79, 33 years or so. And there's a reason we haven't negotiated with Iran, because they're state-sponsored terrorists. They're the central bank for terrorism around the world.” WorldYearsMadeStatesReasonPresidentHavensPhonesTerrorismTerroristAround The WorldBarackIranPlusPhone CallsPresident Barack ObamaCentral BanksBlown Away Author:Barack Obama