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Shame Quotes

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Shame Quotes

“Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.”

Source: Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility

“The best way for business to move out of the Hall of Shame is to demonstrate a commitment to social causes. This also makes business sense. A focus on solving social problems has motivational benefits in lean economic times.”

Way Problem Moving Social Causes Focus Economic Benefits Commitment Shame Best Way Halls Social Problems Business Sense

Author:Rosabeth Moss Kanter

“Without a sense of the shame or guilt of his or her action, the child will only be hardened in rebellion by physical punishment. Shame (and praise) help the child to internalize the parent's judgment. It impresses upon the child that the parent is not only more powerful but also right. Like the Puritans, Locke (in 1690), wanted the child to adopt the parent's moral position, rather than simply bow to superior strength or social pressure.”

Children Helping Action Wanted Social Parent Powerful Moral Position Judgment Pressure Praise Shame Guilt Punishment Superiors Rebellion Bows Impress Puritan Hardened Social Pressure

Author:C. Sommerville

“Over and over again in my life, I find closeness to other people and proximity to other people really painful; that's part of my mental illness, social anxiety. Closeness to other people is really hard, but it's also a shame because it's all you want too. But it doesn't always work.”

People Want Hard Social Anxiety Shame Painful Illness Mental Illness Closeness Proximity Social Anxiety

Author:Adam Duritz

“If there's not someone in your social circle who doesn't look like you, then shame on you.”

Ifs Looks Social Like You Shame Circles Shame On You

Author:Leigh Anne Tuohy

“Miss Havisham is a glitch in the smooth functioning of the Patriarchy, enforcing awareness of a moment of social disaster and personal shame, something it seems she would want us to forget (but no one would forget). (Maybe an interesting "discussion question" for readers of Complicated Grief might be, "What do Terry Barton and Miss Havisham have in common?"?)”

“The thing we want for all our kids is that they be connected with a learning community and that they have strong social and familial relationships. If we can do whatever we can do to create that and to reduce bullying and to reduce the kind of pain and shame so many kids feel for so many reasons, that stuff is going to reduce drug addiction.”

Ifs Want Feels Kind Reason Kids Pain Strong Social Stuff Can Do Community Drug Shame Addiction Connected Bullying Drug Addiction Drug Addict

Author:Maia Szalavitz

“There is not a man of us who does not at times need a helping hand to be stretched out to him, and then shame upon him who will not stretch out the helping hand to his brother.”

Men Needs Doe Helping Hands Inspiration Social Brother Shame Helping Hand

Book:Theodore Roosevelt on Bravery: Lessons from the Most Courageous Leader of the Twentieth Century

Source: Theodore Roosevelt on Bravery: Lessons from the Most Courageous Leader of the Twentieth Century

“The fears that assault us are mostly simple anxieties about social skills, about intimacy, about likeableness, or about performance. We need not give emotional food or charge to these fears or become attached to them. We don’t even have to shame ourselves for having these fears. Simply ask your fears, “What are you trying to teach me?” Some say that FEAR is merely an acronym for “False Evidence Appearing Real.” From Everything Belongs, p. 143”

Needs Giving Trying Real Asks Social Simple Teach Emotional Skills Anxiety Evidence Performances Shame Intimacy Assault Appearing Social Skills Acronyms

Author:Richard Rohr

“It's a shame for women's history to be all about men--first boys, then other boys, then men men men. It reminds me of the way our school history textbooks were all about wars and elections, one war after another, with the dull periods of peace skimmed over whenever they occurred. (Our teachers deplored this and added extra units about social history and protest movements, but that was still the message of the books.)”

“There is the guilt all soldiers feel for having broken the taboo against killing, a guilt as old as war itself. Add to this the soldier's sense of shame for having fought in actions that resulted, indirectly or directly, in the deaths of civilians. Then pile on top of that an attitude of social opprobrium, an attitude that made the fighting man feel personally morally responsible for the war, and you get your proverbial walking time bomb.”

Men Feels Made War Action Fighting Social Attitude Military Broken Walking Responsible Shame Add Guilt Killing Soldier Bombs Civilians Taboo Vietnam War Proverbial Time Bomb

Author:Philip Caputo

“White guilt is more of a sanctioned social convention than a genuine emotional experience. It’s a form of theatrical empathy that’s socially and financially rewarded. When you learn to say and perhaps even believe the right things about race, doors are opened for you. When you say the wrong thing, those doors slam shut. Then, the gossips and church ladies will shame you publicly, demand that you be fired from your job, and use every avenue available to them to coerce a confession, a public apology and a staged conversion that contributes to their progressive narrative.”

“So exiled have even basic questions of freedom become from the political vocabulary that they sound musty and ridiculous, and vulnerable to the ultimate badge of shame-'That's so 60's!'-the entire decade having been mocked so effectively that social protest seems outlandish and 'so last century,' just another style excess like love beads and Nehru jackets. No, rebellion won't pose a problem for this social order.”