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Shame Quotes

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Shame Quotes

“Sometimes I think the people to feel the saddest for are people who are unable to connect with the profound—people such as my boring brother-in-law, a hearty type so concerned with normality and fitting in that he eliminates any possibility of uniqueness for himself and his own personality. I wonder if some day, when he is older, he will wake up and the deeper part of him will realize that he has never allowed himself to truly exist, and he will cry with regret and shame and grief.”

PeopleIfsThinkingFeelsSometimesLawRealizingGriefWonderCryPossibilityBrotherRegretTypePersonalityConcernedWake UpShameProfoundBoringDeeperUniquenessIn-lawsFittingSaddestNormalityHeartyBrother In Law
Book:Life After God
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“Golden Verses So-called because they are "good as gold." They are by some attributed to Epicarmos, and by others to Empedocles, but always go under the name of Pythagoras, and seem quite in accordance with the excellent precepts of that philosopher. They are as follows: Ne'er suffer sleep thine eyes to close Before thy mind hath run O'er every act, and thought, and word, From dawn to set of sun; For wrong take shame, but grateful feel If just thy course hath been; Such effort day by day renewed Will ward thy soul from sin. E. C. B.”

IfsFeelsMindSoulSeemsEyeRunningSufferingCoursesNamesSleepSinEffortSunGoldShameGratefulPhilosopherGoldenExcellentDawnVersesThoughts And Words
Author:Pythagoras
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“Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it's not merely benign or 'too bad' if we don't use the gifts that we've been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being. When we don't use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle. We feel disconnected and weighted down by feelings of emptiness, frustration, resentment, shame, disappointment, fear, and even grief.”

IfsFeelsWellsUseFeelingsMotivationalTurnsGivenGriefPayStruggleOur LivesTalentEmotionalShameDisappointmentMeaningfulWell BeingEmptinessFrustrationResentmentDistressDisconnectedBenignMeaningful WorkSquandering
Book:The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
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“I mean that it is more natural for me to be wicked than virtuous, when I do a bad act, and I've done many, I never feel wither shame, remorse or fear, I sometimes wish it was not necessary as I don't like the trouble, but as for any moral sense of principle, I haven't a particle. Many people are like me as actions prove, but they are not so frank in owning it and insist on keeping up the humbug of virtue.”

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Author:Louisa May Alcott
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“Hence I feel no shame in asserting that this whole region engirdled by the moon, and the center of the earth, traverse this grand circle amid the rest of the planets in an annual revolution around the sun. Near the sun is the center of the universe. Moreover, since the sun remains stationary, whatever appears as a motion of the sun is really due rather to the motion of the earth.”

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Book:Nicholas Copernicus on the revolutions
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“The deeper purpose of a more positive attitude toward men is a better life for the children who are parented by the men who are their dads and stepdads; less shame for our sons who will become men; and, for our daughters, a deeper understanding of men's desire to please that leaves them feeling their willingness to please is not unrequited but returned - allowing our daughters to feel less lonely and more loved. If we earn more and love less, we pay for a home in which we do not live.”

IfsMenFeelsChildrenFeelingsHomeDesirePurposeUnderstandingPayAttitudeHe ManSonDadPleaseDaughterLonelyAnd LoveShameDeeperPositive AttitudeWillingnessAllowingBetter LifeUnrequitedOur DaughterDeeper UnderstandingStepdads
Author:Warren Farrell
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“Shame is the proper reaction when one has purposefully violated the accepted behavior of society. Inflicting it is etiquette's response when its rules are disobeyed. The law has all kinds of nasty ways of retaliating when it is disregarded, but etiquette has only a sense of social shame to deter people from treating others in ways they know are wrong. So naturally Miss Manners wants to maintain the sense of shame. Some forms of discomfort are fully justified, and the person who feels shame ought to be dealing with removing its causes rather than seeking to relieve the symptoms.”

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Book:Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing, and Other Lapses in Civility
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“Our life is so short that every time I see my children, I enjoy them as much as I can. Whenever I can, I enjoy my beloved, my family, my friends, my apprentices. But mainly I enjoy myself, because I am with myself all the time. Why should I spend my precious time with myself judging myself, rejecting myself, creating guilt and shame? Why should I push myself to be angry or jealous? If I don't feel good emotionally, I find out what is causing it and I fix it. Then I can recover my happiness and keep going with my story.”

IfsFeelsShouldChildrenI CanStoriesFeelingsHappinessLife IsTimeEnjoyFamilyOur LivesJudgingFriendsCreatingMy FriendsMy FamilyShameAngryGuiltFeel GoodJealousyMy ChildrenBelovedKeep GoingJealousShould IGood FriendRejectingApprenticeLife Is So ShortPrecious TimeJudging Myself
Author:Miguel Angel Ruiz
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“The contempt which men feel for the prostitute, and the fact that they have always regarded themselves as far superior to her, even when they made use of her, suggests an attempt to rationalize the situation; it might be explained as an unconscious transference to the woman of the shame they feel for themselves in these relations.”

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Author:Alison Roberta Noble Neilans
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“The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. A person feels guilt because he did something wrong. A person feels shame because he is something wrong. We may feel guilty because we lied to our mother. We may feel shame because we are not the person our mother wanted us to be.”

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Author:Lewis B. Smedes
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“An older child, one who possesses a conscience, will be troubled with self-reproaches and feelings of shame for his naughtiness, even if he is not discovered. But our two-year-olds and our three-year- olds experience guilt feelings only when they feel or anticipate disapproval from the outside. In doing this, they have taken the first steps toward the goal of conscience, but there is a long way ahead before the policeman outside becomes the policeman inside.”

IfsWayFeelsYearsFirstsChildrenLongTwoSelfFeelingsThreeGoalStepsTakenConscienceShameGuiltTwo YearsThree YearsFirst StepsLong WayPolicemenAnticipateReproachDisapprovalThree Year OldsTwo Year OldsGuilt Feelings
Author:Selma Fraiberg
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“The best definition I've heard is that guilt is about what you've done, shame is about who you are. If something's out of my control, I don't feel shame about it, because what could I have done? If you're guilty, you can at least try to atone for it or make it better or not do it again. If it's who you are, you can't do much about it except change yourself, and that's pretty hard.”

IfsFeelsTryingHardDoneHeardShameWho You AreGuiltDefinitionsGuiltyChange Yourself
Author:Mary Gaitskill
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“What would happen if people practiced openness and honesty? If people talked about their real challenges without shame or fear of rejection? My guess is that people would feel less alone and isolated. People would be willing to share more, and as a result, society would feel more connected to each other and their experiences.”

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Author:Deborah Reber
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“We define boredom as the pain a person feels when he's doing nothing or something irrelevant, instead of something he wants to do but won't, can't, or doesn't dare. Boredom is acute when he knows the other thing and inhibits his action, e.g., out of politeness, embarrassment, fear of punishment or shame. Boredom is chronic if he has repressed the thought of it and no longer is aware of it. A large part of stupidity is just the chronic boredom, for a person can't learn, or be intelligent about, what he's not interested in, when his repressed thoughts are elsewhere.”

IfsKnowsWantFeelsPersonsActionPainBlessingIntelligentShameDareStupidityPunishmentBoredomElsewhereNot InterestedIrrelevantDoing NothingEmbarrassmentPolitenessRepressed
Author:Paul Goodman
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“I can't say anything other than the fact that I feel a range of emotions including guilt, shame, sadness, betrayal, freedom and appreciation for those who have stood by me, been tough on me, and have taken the time to understand that there is a deeper story and not to believe everything they read in the newspapers.”

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Author:Jayson Blair
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“'Brokeback Mountain' is a sad love story about two people who can't be together, and the reason that they can't be together is because being gay is a stigmatized thing. It would be interesting to have the same movie in which the two guys weren't in the closet and there was no shame about them being gay and they couldn't be together for other reasons. I still feel like we're a long way from that happening.”

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Author:Wesley Morris
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“The fundamental defect of fathers, in our competitive society, is that they want their children to be a credit to them. We all feel instinctively, that our children's success reflect glory upon ourselves, while their failures make us feel shame. Unfortunately, the successes which cause us to swell with pride are often of an undesirable kind.... Neither happiness nor virtue, but worldly success, is what the average father desires for his children.”

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Author:Bertrand Russell
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“There is something embarrassing in... the way in which, ... turning suffering into images, harsh and uncompromising though they are, ... wounds the shame we feel in the presence of the victims. For these victims are used to create something, works of art, that are thrown to the consumption of a world which destroyed them.”

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Author:Theodor Adorno
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“And the stigma hasn't really changed that much in 31 years. You are still getting people - it's a shame-based disease. It's based on sexual transmission. And it's still shame-based. And until people feel strong enough and feel loved enough to actually open up and say, listen, I'm HIV-positive, then we are facing an uphill battle.”

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Author:Elton John
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“The thing we want for all our kids is that they be connected with a learning community and that they have strong social and familial relationships. If we can do whatever we can do to create that and to reduce bullying and to reduce the kind of pain and shame so many kids feel for so many reasons, that stuff is going to reduce drug addiction.”

IfsWantFeelsKindReasonKidsPainStrongSocialStuffCan DoCommunityDrugShameAddictionConnectedBullyingDrug AddictionDrug Addict
Author:Maia Szalavitz
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“I wrote [Valley of Violence] entirely with James Ransone in mind. I get such a joy out of watching his performance and seeing people watch this. He's so great. The bravado thing and the foolishness, he does them both so well. It's weird because he's so hateable in the movie, but in the end, you're also going, "I feel bad for him." That's hard to do. It's hard to do that to where you're like, "This guy's the worst, but I know why he's the worst, so it's a shame this is happening." That's the whole thing.”

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Author:Ti West
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