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Shame Quotes

Browse 2566 quotes about Shame.

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Shame Quotes

“Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it's not merely benign or 'too bad' if we don't use the gifts that we've been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being. When we don't use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle. We feel disconnected and weighted down by feelings of emptiness, frustration, resentment, shame, disappointment, fear, and even grief.”

IfsFeelsWellsUseFeelingsMotivationalTurnsGivenGriefPayStruggleOur LivesTalentEmotionalShameDisappointmentMeaningfulWell BeingEmptinessFrustrationResentmentDistressDisconnectedBenignMeaningful WorkSquandering
Book:The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are
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“The feeling of commiseration is the beginning of humanity; the feeling of shame and dislike is the beginning of righteousness; the feeling of deference and compliance is the beginning of propriety; and the feeling of right or wrong is the beginning of wisdom.Men have these Four Beginnings just as they have their four limbs. Having these Four Beginnings, but saying that they cannot develop them is to destroy themselves.”

MenFeelingsHumanityFourShameRighteousnessDislikeLimbsProprietyComplianceDeference
Author:Mencius
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“The drivenness in any addiction is about the ruptured self, the belief that one is flawed as a person. The content of the addiction, whether it is alcoholism or work, is an attempt at an intimate relationship. The workaholic with her work or the alcoholic with his booze are having a love affair. Each alters mood to avoid the feeling of loneliness and hurt in the underbelly of shame.”

PersonsSelfFeelingsBeliefHurtLonelinessShameAddictionAffairMoodIntimateFlawedAlcoholismAlcoholicsLove AffairBoozeWorkaholicIntimate Relationships
Author:John Bradshaw
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“He ["the male"] is trapped in a twilight zone halfway between humans and apes, and is far worse off than apes, because he is, first of all, capable of a large array of negative feelings that the apes aren't - hate, jealousy, contempt, disgust, guilt, shame, disgrace, doubt - and, secondly, he is aware of what he is and isn't.”

FirstsHumansFeelingsHateDoubtCapableNegativeShameGuiltMalesZoneContemptTwilightDisgustingTrappedHalfwayDisgraceApesTwilight ZoneNegative Feelings
Author:Valerie Solanas
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“Our relationship with food - how, when, what and why we eat - is a direct expression of our underlying feelings, thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. It has to do with stances we take that get reflected not only in our relationship with food, but in all our relationships. It just so happens that the relationship with food causes enough conflict, grief, shame and hurt that we’re willing to look at it.”

LooksEnoughFeelingsHappensBeliefCausesHurtGriefFoodWillingExpressionConflictDirectShameOur RelationshipStance
Author:Geneen Roth
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“The deeper purpose of a more positive attitude toward men is a better life for the children who are parented by the men who are their dads and stepdads; less shame for our sons who will become men; and, for our daughters, a deeper understanding of men's desire to please that leaves them feeling their willingness to please is not unrequited but returned - allowing our daughters to feel less lonely and more loved. If we earn more and love less, we pay for a home in which we do not live.”

IfsMenFeelsChildrenFeelingsHomeDesirePurposeUnderstandingPayAttitudeHe ManSonDadPleaseDaughterLonelyAnd LoveShameDeeperPositive AttitudeWillingnessAllowingBetter LifeUnrequitedOur DaughterDeeper UnderstandingStepdads
Author:Warren Farrell
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“It has become a common feeling, I believe, as we have watched our heroes falling over the years, that our own small stone of activism, which might not seem to measure up to the rugged boulders of heroism we have so admired, is a paltry offering toward the building of an edifice of hope. Many who believe this choose to withhold their offerings out of shame. This is the tragedy of the world. For we can do nothing substantial toward changing our course on the planet, a destructive one, without rousing ourselves, individual by individual, and bringing our small, imperfect stones to the pile.”

WorldYearsBelieveFeelingsSeemsMightFallCoursesIndividualI BelieveCan DoCommonBuildingPlanetsHeroStonesTragedyShameActivismDestructiveImperfectOfferingHeroismEdificeRuggedBoulders
Book:Anything We Love Can Be Saved: A Writer's Activism
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“Our life is so short that every time I see my children, I enjoy them as much as I can. Whenever I can, I enjoy my beloved, my family, my friends, my apprentices. But mainly I enjoy myself, because I am with myself all the time. Why should I spend my precious time with myself judging myself, rejecting myself, creating guilt and shame? Why should I push myself to be angry or jealous? If I don't feel good emotionally, I find out what is causing it and I fix it. Then I can recover my happiness and keep going with my story.”

IfsFeelsShouldChildrenI CanStoriesFeelingsHappinessLife IsTimeEnjoyFamilyOur LivesJudgingFriendsCreatingMy FriendsMy FamilyShameAngryGuiltFeel GoodJealousyMy ChildrenBelovedKeep GoingJealousShould IGood FriendRejectingApprenticeLife Is So ShortPrecious TimeJudging Myself
Author:Miguel Angel Ruiz
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“The difference between guilt and shame is very clear--in theory. We feel guilty for what we do. We feel shame for what we are. A person feels guilt because he did something wrong. A person feels shame because he is something wrong. We may feel guilty because we lied to our mother. We may feel shame because we are not the person our mother wanted us to be.”

PeopleWantFeelsMayPersonsDifferentFeelingsWantedLyingMotherDifferencesClearTheoryShameGuiltGuiltyAshamedWrongLied
Author:Lewis B. Smedes
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“To be sure an European woman would blush to her fingers' ends at the very idea of appearing publicly stark naked; but education and prejudice are everything, since it is an axiom, that where there is no feeling of self-reproach, there can assuredly be no shame.”

IdeasEndsSelfFeelingsPrejudiceShameFingersNakedAppearingStarksAxiomsReproachNudity
Book:Narrative of a Five Years' Expedition Against the Revolted Negroes of Surinam: In Guiana ... from the Year 1772 to 1777 ; Elucidating the History of that Country and Describing Its Productions, Viz. Quadrupeds, Birds, [etc.] Trees, Shrubs, [etc.] with an Account of the Indians and Negroes of Guinea
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“An older child, one who possesses a conscience, will be troubled with self-reproaches and feelings of shame for his naughtiness, even if he is not discovered. But our two-year-olds and our three-year- olds experience guilt feelings only when they feel or anticipate disapproval from the outside. In doing this, they have taken the first steps toward the goal of conscience, but there is a long way ahead before the policeman outside becomes the policeman inside.”

IfsWayFeelsYearsFirstsChildrenLongTwoSelfFeelingsThreeGoalStepsTakenConscienceShameGuiltTwo YearsThree YearsFirst StepsLong WayPolicemenAnticipateReproachDisapprovalThree Year OldsTwo Year OldsGuilt Feelings
Author:Selma Fraiberg
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“The sexual revolution... it was the first time I had read anything that came close to describing those feelings of being outside of my body, feeling the shame, all of it, that I really was able to connect to in that book. So it sort of blew my mind. I was also listening to Tori Amos at the same time, so I was like, "Wait, what's happening?!" It was all a part of that, probably when I was, like, 13.”

MindFirstsBookFeelingsBodyAbleWaitingRevolutionListeningHappeningsFirst TimeShameDescribingSexual Revolution
Author:June Diane Raphael
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“I believe we all have lists of shame. Long lists. We live with our constellation of shames quite privately. But they weigh us down. I wish I could abracadabra away shame. This is such a waste of our small time on earth. Our bodies are often the focus of shame. The shame of the body changing. Of the sexual body. Of the aging body. Not being able to do what you once could do. Even just looking at your skin as you age, the texture, the wrinkle, the sag, and somehow feeling ashamed and responsible for its changes.”

BelieveLongFeelingsAgeEarthI BelieveWishFocusSkinsResponsibleShameAgingAll TimeAshamed
Author:Victoria Redel
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“The problem is when you become so well known that everyone is watching you and you don't have an opportunity to observe. It's something that I don't want to lose. I like being unnoticed when I don't feel like being noticed. It's not like I crave attention all the time. Something that I've always loved and appreciated is the chance to see something about someone's character, observe and kind of retain it, and study it without feeling like I'm studying it. I have an intense curiosity. And it would be a shame if I lose the ability to do that.”

KindCharacterFeelingsProblemOpportunityChanceAbilityAttentionStudyShameCuriosityIntenseWell KnownAppreciatedUnnoticed
Author:Adrien Brody
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“A wave of blood goes up to my head, my stomach shrinks together, as if something dangerous has just missed hitting me. It's as if I've been caught stealing, or telling a lie; or as if I've heard other people talking about me, saying bad things about me, behind my back. There's the same flush of shame, of guilt and terror, and of cold disgust with myself. But I don't know where these feelings have come from, what I've done.”

PeopleIfsKnowsDoneFeelingsTogetherLyingBehindsTalkingHeardBloodDangerousColdShameGuiltWaveCaughtTerrorStealingBad ThingsStomachDisgustingHittingShrinksPeople TalkingBehind My BackTalking About MeSaying Bad Things
Book:Cat's Eye
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“And no, it wasn't shame I now felt, or guilt, but something rarer in my life and stronger than both: remorse. A feeling which is more complicated, curdled, and primeval. Whose chief characteristic is that nothing can be done about it: too much time has passed, too much damage has been done, for amends to be made.”

Has BeensMadeDoneFeelingsFeltToo MuchStrongerShameGuiltComplicatedChiefsDamageCharacteristicsRemorseAmendsPrimeval
Book:The Sense of an Ending
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“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”

IfsLooksI CanSelfFeelingsBeliefPerfectJudgmentShameBlamePainfulPrimariesFuelDestructivePerfectionismBelief SystemsSelf DestructivePainful Feelings
Book:Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
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“Feelings and stories of unworthiness and shame are perhaps the most binding element in the trance of fear. When we believe something is wrong with us, we are convinced we are in danger. Our shame fuels ongoing fear, and our fear fuels more shame. The very fact that we feel fear seems to prove that we are broken or incapable. When we are trapped in trance, being fearful and bad seem to define who we are. The anxiety in our body, the stories, the ways we make excuses, withdraw or lash out—these become to us the self that is most real.”

WayFeelsBelieveRealSelfFactsStoriesFeelingsBodySeemsDangerBrokenProveElementsAnxietyShameExcuseConvincedWho We AreFuelFearfulTrappedIncapableOngoingBindingLashesTrance
Author:Tara Brach
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“When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.”

LooksEnoughFeelingsPurposeFearOrdinaryShameExtraordinaryVulnerabilityNarcissismLensesLovable
Book:Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
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“Shame usually follows a pattern—a cycle of self-recrimination and lies that claims life after life. First, we experience an intensely painful event. Second, we believe the lie that our pain and failure is who we are—not just something we’ve done, or had done to us—and we experience shame. And finally, our feelings of shame trap us into thinking that we can never recover—that, in fact, we don’t even deserve to.”

ThinkingFirstsBelieveSelfDoneFactsFeelingsPainLyingEventsDeserveClaimsShamePatternsPainfulWho We AreCyclesTraps
Book:The Christian Atheist: Believing in God But Living as If He Doesn't Exist
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“Quite often I have been faced with people who were praised and admired for their talents and their achievements... According to prevailing attitudes, these people-the pride and joy of their parents-should have had a strong and stable sense of self-assurance. But the case is exactly the opposite... Whenever they suddenly get the feeling they have failed to live up to some ideal image or have not measured up to some standard, then they are plagued by anxiety or deep feelings of guilt and shame. What are the reasons for such disturbances in these competent, accomplished people?”

PeopleShouldHas BeensSelfReasonFeelingsJoyStrongParentAttitudeCasesTalentPrideAchievementAnxietyStandardsIdealsShould HaveOppositesShameGuiltAccomplishedStableAssuranceCompetentSense Of SelfPrevailingDisturbanceSelf AssuranceDeep Feeling
Author:Alice Miller
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