“My wife happens to be probably the greatest working woman in comedy. I can't think of anyone who even approaches her achievements and her abilities.” ThinkingI CanHappensAbilityComedyWifeAchievementApproachMy WifeWorking Women Author:Nick Offerman
“Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.” LooksComedyWifeMarriedMy WifeFunny Marriage Author:Jeff Foxworthy
“American comedies especially are all about these men being browbeaten by their wives and it's impossible for me to watch.” MenWatchesComedyWifeImpossible Author:Joe Manganiello
“I have always considered The Merry Wives one of the worst plays, if not altogether the worst, that Shakespeare has left us. The wit for the most part is dreary or foolish; the tone is coarse and farcical; and the characters want the fine distinctive touches he so well knew how to give. If some luckless wight had written such a comedy in our time, I should like to see what the critics would say to it?” IfsWantGivingShouldWellsPlayCharacterLeftComedyWifeWrittenWorstFineCriticsFoolishWitToneOur TimeMerryDistinctiveDrearyCoarse Book:Dramatic Essays Source: Dramatic Essays
“We had the boy's name picked out, but we didn't have a girl's. When he turned out to be a boy, we were so relieved. Literally, in the middle of contracting and pushing, and with my wife being drugged - out and half - lucid, we were still coming up with names.” StillsGirlNamesHalfBoysComedyWifeMiddleMy WifePushingRelievedContracting Author:Paul Reiser
“If it really was Queen Elizabeth who demanded to see Falstaff in a comedy, then she showed herself a very perceptive critic. But even in The Merry Wives of Windsor, Falstaff has not and could not have found his true home because Shakespeare was only a poet. For that he was to wait nearly two hundred years till Verdi wrote his last opera. Falstaff is not the only case of a character whose true home is the world of music; others are Tristan, Isolde and Don Giovanni.” IfsWorldYearsTwoCharacterHomeLastsFoundWaitingCasesComedyWifePoetHundredCriticsQueensOperaMerryQueen ElizabethTrue HomeWindsorFalstaffVerdi Author:W. H. Auden
“Comedy is grievances. It's a recitation of grievances - whether they're inconsequential, superficial - like "my wife shops too much", or "kids today", all those old-fashioned themes - or, if it's deeper, and somewhat more thoughtful, about social imbalance and inequities, and the folly of human behavior. It's usually a complaint.” IfsHumansKidsTodaySocialComedyToo MuchWifeBehaviorDeeperMy WifeThemeThoughtfulFollyShopsComplaintsSuperficialHuman BehaviorOld FashionedGrievanceImbalanceInconsequentialRecitation Author:George Carlin
“I got married. My wife changed her name. I know some women have a problem with that. But I wanted her to have my old girlfriend's name. So call me old-fashioned, but this fella does what the Bible tells.” KnowsDoeProblemWantedFunnyNamesComedyWifeChangedMarriedMy WifeGirlfriendCall MeOld FashionedFellasOld Girlfriend Author:Jim Gaffigan
“The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I'm like Grace Jones to them. "This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where's the wife jokes, where's the fat jokes?"” RealFunnyYoungNightGuyTalkingComedyGraceWifeJokesSingersFatsOpeningComedianItalianNutsThis GuySockOld Time Author:Jerry Seinfeld
“A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.” FunnyAsksSexComedyWifeFellowsExpensiveSarcasticPsychiatryPsychiatrist Author:Joey Lauren Adams
“I knew I wanted to be a performer and do comedy at 5 years old. My dad's wife, Marlene Rosenbaum, was boiling water and she goes, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I said, "A comedian." And she laughed and laughed because she thought that was the cutest, funniest thing.” WantYearsSaidWantedGrowsWaterGrowing UpComedyWifeDadMy DadComedianPerformersLaughedBoilingCutestBoiling Water Author:Sandra Bernhard