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Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce Quotes

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Famous Ambrose Bierce Quotes

“GUNPOWDER, n. An agency employed by civilized nations for the settlement of disputes which might become troublesome if left unadjusted. By most writers the invention of gunpowder is ascribed to the Chinese, but not upon very convincing evidence. Milton says it was invented by the devil to dispel angels with, and this opinion seems to derive some support from the scarcity of angels.”

IfsSeemsMightScienceLeftNationsOpinionSupportHumourDevilEvidenceAngelInventionChineseAgencyCivilizedEmployedDisputesConvincingSettlementScarcityTroublesomeMiltonGunpowderCivilized NationsConvincing Evidence
Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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“The bold and discerning writer who, recognizing the truth that language must grow by innovation if it grow at all, makes new words and uses the old in an unfamiliar sense has no following and is tartly reminded that 'it isn't in the dictionary' - although down to the time of the first lexicographer no author ever had used a word that was in the dictionary.”

IfsFirstsUseUsedLanguageGrowsInnovationFollowingRecognizingDictionaryUnfamiliarDiscerningNew WordsLexicographer
Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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“Miss, n. A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. In the general abolition of social titles in this our country they miraculously escaped to plague us. If we must have them let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to Mh.”

IfsMenGivingTwoCountryThreeLanguageSocialSoundMissingMastersCorruptionOur CountryBrandsTitlesConsistentVenturePlagueMistressAbolitionDisagreeableUnmarried
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
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“Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.”

IfsThinkingKnowsWayAgeFallWallPleaseDiseaseBeatsShotsStonesOld AgeThis LifeFalling DownStairsGood WayByeGood ByeRagsStood UpCellarsStone Walls
Book:A Much Misunderstood Man: Selected Letters of Ambrose Bierce
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“Every patriot believes his country better than any other country . . . In its active manifestation-it is fond of killing-patriotism would be well enough if it were simply defensive, but it is also aggressive . . . Patriotism deliberately and with folly aforethought subordinates the interests of a whole to the interests of a part . . . Patriotism is fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave and blind as a stone.”

IfsBelieveWellsWarCountryEnoughWholeWould BeInterestStonesBlindKillingActiveGravesManifestationFollyAggressiveAnti WarFierceOther CountriesPatriotFeverSubordinates
Author:Ambrose Bierce
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“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, and the right to make that of another miserable by thrusting upon him an incalculable quantity of acquaintances; liberty, particularly the liberty to introduce persons to one another without first ascertaining if they are not already acquainted as enemies; and the pursuit of another's happiness with a running pack of strangers.”

IfsMenFirstsPersonsSelfRunningCertainLibertyEnemyRightsEqualCreatorStrangerPursuitMiserableQuantityIntroducingPacksEvidentAcquaintanceInalienable Rights
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
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“Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If mans notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from and nowise dependent on, their consequences-then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind.”

IfsMenWayMindLongReasonPhilosophyCharacterRunningActionLyingNumbersMoralGreaterConsequenceBasesRegardNotionInstanceWickedDependentDisorderLong RunsImmoralNihilismExpediencyMoral Character
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: The Devil World
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“As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolent magicians once existed and were a scourge to mankind. The evidence (including confession) upon which certain women were convicted of witchcraft and executed was without a flaw; it is still unimpeachable. The judges' decisions based on it were sound in logic and in law. Nothing in any existing court was ever more thoroughly proved than the charges of witchcraft and sorcery for which so many suffered death. If there were no witches, human testimony and human reason are alike destitute of value.”

IfsHumansStillsReasonLawCertainValuesSoundJusticeDecisionPowerfulRecordsMankindJudgingEvidenceLogicCourtIncludingFlawsWitchConfessionTestimonyMagicianWitchcraftIn-lawsScourgeDestituteSorceryHuman Reason
Author:Ambrose Bierce
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