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Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Bierce Quotes

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Famous Ambrose Bierce Quotes

“True, more than a half of the green graves in the Grafton cemetery are marked "Unknown," and sometimes it occurs that one thinks of the contradiction involved in "honoring the memory" of him of whom no memory remains to honor; but the attempt seems to do no great harm to the living, even to the logical.”

ThinkingSometimesSeemsMemoriesHalfHonorInvolvedRemainsGreenHarmGravesContradictionLogicalCemeteryNo Memory
Book:Shadows of Blue & Gray: The Civil War Writings of Ambrose Bierce
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“The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" - that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him.”

ThinkingDoeImportantNaturalForgetHumilityRainOffensiveModestDelightfulDogmaticArtificeEssayistsForget Him
Book:Delphi Complete Works of Ambrose Bierce (Illustrated)
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“Good-bye -- if you hear of my being stood up against a stone wall and shot to rags please know that I think that a pretty good way to depart this life. It beats old age, disease or falling down the cellar stairs.”

IfsThinkingKnowsWayAgeFallWallPleaseDiseaseBeatsShotsStonesOld AgeThis LifeFalling DownStairsGood WayByeGood ByeRagsStood UpCellarsStone Walls
Book:A Much Misunderstood Man: Selected Letters of Ambrose Bierce
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“Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion - thus: Major Premise: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man. Minor Premise: One man can dig a post-hole in sixty seconds; Therefore- Conclusion: Sixty men can dig a post-hole in one second. This may be called syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.”

ThinkingMenHumansMayArtScienceCan DoPiecesMajorsLogicMathematicsBlessedHolesConclusionCertaintyLimitationPostsReasoningOne ManSecondsSixtyMinorsStrictMisunderstandingPremisesCombiningIncapacityReason And LogicHole In One
Author:Ambrose Bierce
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“MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be. His chief occupation is extermination of other animals and his own species, which, however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole habitable earth and Canada.”

ThinkingMenWholeEarthLostAnimalHumourOughtSpeciesChiefsContemplationCanadaOccupationExtermination
Book:The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
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“BRAIN, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think. That which distinguishes the man who is content to be something from the man who wishes to do something. A man of great wealth, or one who has been pitchforked into high station, has commonly such a headful of brain that his neighbors cannot keep their hats on. In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, brain is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.”

ThinkingMenHas BeensGovernmentCareFormScienceWishWealthBrainHumourHe ManCivilizationRepublicanOfficeNeighborHatsStationsHonoredForms Of GovernmentExemption
Book:The Devil's Dictionary: A Selection of the Bitter Definitions of Ambrose Bierce
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