“In Texas, if your name is Carlos, you're a Mexican. In Florida, you're a Cuban. In New York, you're a Puerto Rican. And I come here and I find out I'm an Eskimo.” IfsNamesNew YorkTexasFloridaMexicanCuban Author:Carlos Mencia
“If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!” IfsMeanChildrenMadeWaitingMinutesAdamAdam And Eve Author:Carlos Mencia
“God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.” PeopleIfsBelieveLooksTomorrowDon't BelieveSense Of HumorBelieve In MeGod Has A Sense Of Humor Author:Carlos Mencia
“If you ask me right now, you've seen the last of Mind of Mencia. I don't want to be a one-trick pony. I would rather walk away and do more movies, comedy and even some dramatic roles.” IfsWantMindLastsAsksWalksRolesComedyRight NowTricksAsk MeDramaticPoniesComedy Movie Author:Carlos Mencia
“If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that. Now I tell people.” PeopleIfsWayReasonPoorComedyGrewNeededProjectsGrew UpUnderstoodEastLos Angeles Author:Carlos Mencia
“If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by some Spaniards. That's why you have names like Kwan Ping Del Toro.” PeopleIfsNamesCausesCommunityAsianIndigenousFilipinoIndigenous PeopleSpaniardsPing Author:Carlos Mencia
“I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.” PeopleIfsBelieveReasonWantedMaterialsDeserveDon't BelieveStealingReason WhyContestsRumor Author:Carlos Mencia
“If your gonna drop out of school / tough grades are not your goal / then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.” IfsSchoolNamesGoalToughGradesCandy Author:Carlos Mencia
“Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.” PeopleIfsHateComedyJudgingI HateAppropriateHypocriteJudge Me Author:Carlos Mencia
“I'm a spiritual person, I believe that if you read the bible, you get what you want from it. But, when you actually read it, you see the beauty, spirituality, the joy and love and what makes us godly. And then if you read between the lines of all the same books, you always see the human influence in the writing... it's not all about religiousness, it's about spirituality.” IfsWantWritingBelieveHumansPersonsBookSpiritualJoySpiritualityI BelieveLinesInfluenceAnd LoveWhat You WantGodlyBetween The LinesRead Between The Lines Author:Carlos Mencia
