“I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their houses have wheels.” PeopleLittlesHardMovingHouseCompassionRefuseParksWheelsWarningTrailersTornadoesTrailer Park Author:Carlos Mencia
“The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.” PeopleWorldProblemStupidStupid People Author:Carlos Mencia
“God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.” PeopleIfsBelieveLooksTomorrowDon't BelieveSense Of HumorBelieve In MeGod Has A Sense Of Humor Author:Carlos Mencia
“America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.” PeopleCountryAmericaPoorFatsPoor PeopleGreat Country Author:Carlos Mencia
“When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.” PeopleBlackWhiteBlack PeopleChipsPotatoesPotato Chips Author:Carlos Mencia
“If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn't get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that. Now I tell people.” PeopleIfsWayReasonPoorComedyGrewNeededProjectsGrew UpUnderstoodEastLos Angeles Author:Carlos Mencia
“I was born in Honduras, that's where I was born. I live in California, where no matter what you say, you're Mexican. You understand that? It doesn't matter what you say. See - you don't understand that, white people, because wherever you go, you're white. You're here, you're white. You go to L. A., you're white. You go to Denver, you're white. You go to Miami, you're still white. In L. A. I'm a Mexican, In Florida, I'm a Cuban. In New York, I'm a Puerto Rican. And when I come to Canada and I find out I'm an Eskimo.” PeopleStillsMatterBornWhiteNew YorkNo Matter WhatCaliforniaCanadaFloridaMexicanMiamiCubanDenverHonduras Author:Carlos Mencia
“Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.” PeopleKnowsMeanSongStupidStupid PeopleRetardedMentally Retarded Author:Carlos Mencia
“If you're Filipino, you're the beaner of the Asian community 'cause you're just like us. You're indigenous people that got banged by some Spaniards. That's why you have names like Kwan Ping Del Toro.” PeopleIfsNamesCausesCommunityAsianIndigenousFilipinoIndigenous PeopleSpaniardsPing Author:Carlos Mencia
“I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.” PeopleImportantBlackHappenedTaughtLessonsGladSwimBlack PeopleHurricanesTaught UsKatrinaImportant LessonsHurricane Katrina Author:Carlos Mencia
“Great soul of Gandhi, cover your ears. You will not want to hear this! Listen, you inbred piece of Ku Klux Krap! You white people love to be racist, but the only races you can tell apart are Indianapolis and Daytona. I hope I am reincarnated as toothpaste, so I never have to see you again. Now take your twelve-pack of wife-beating juice and get the park out of my store!” PeopleWantSoulWhiteRacePiecesWifeEarsStoresParksRacistOver YouTwelvePacksJuiceYou AgainGreat SoulsToothpasteIndianapolisInbredsDaytonaWife Beating Author:Carlos Mencia
“I'm the only person on Earth who's not afraid to admit that black people are better dancers than white people! I said it, I said it! You were all thinking it, I said it!” PeopleThinkingPersonsSaidEarthBlackWhiteDancerBlack PeopleNot Afraid Author:Carlos Mencia
“I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!” PeopleNeedsSaidBigsNosesBad ThingsHolocaustBig Nose Author:Carlos Mencia
“I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to. The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.” PeopleIfsBelieveReasonWantedMaterialsDeserveDon't BelieveStealingReason WhyContestsRumor Author:Carlos Mencia
“I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.” PeopleEndsHurtSituationLaughingProductsLaughterJokesCancerRidiculousMake SenseComedianStomachCheeksMaking People Laugh Author:Carlos Mencia
“Everything I do is intended to make people laugh and think. I just think something is funny, it's not hurting anybody, not stabbing anybody, not shooting anybody, not making anybody watch me perform. There are thousands of comedians, don't come see me because it's not like I hide it.” PeopleThinkingHurtWatchesLaughingShootingComedianMaking People LaughWatch MeStabbing Author:Carlos Mencia
“Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.” PeopleIfsHateComedyJudgingI HateAppropriateHypocriteJudge Me Author:Carlos Mencia
“People want to complain... my point especially when it comes to racial humor is... we have that diversity, so I don't look at it like we are making fun of people, I look at it as how awesome is it that we can talk about this stuff, that we do have this kind of diversity, that we do live in a country that shows an array, unlike any other in the world.” PeopleWorldWantLooksKindCountryShowsFunStuffDiversityComplaining Author:Carlos Mencia
“My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.” PeopleWayLooksReasonSimpleBrainBreakSimplicitySimple Ways Author:Carlos Mencia
“When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.” PeoplePersonsBlackWaterWhiteElectricityGhettoCampingBlack Person Author:Carlos Mencia
“When white people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're homeless, when black people wear baggy clothing and speak gibberish they're called rappers.” PeopleSpeakBlackWhiteBlack PeopleClothingsRapperHomeless Author:Carlos Mencia
