“(Popular singer Eddie Fisher, appearing on This is Show Business, told Kaufman that women refused to date him because he looked so young.) Mr. Fisher, on Mount Wilson there is a telescope that can magnify the most distant stars up to twenty-four times the magnification of any previous telescope. This remarkable instrument was unsurpassed in the world of astronomy until the construction of the Mount Palomar telescope, an even more remarkable instrument of magnification. Owing to advances and improvements in optical technology, it is capable of magnifying the stars to four times the magnification and resolution of the Mount Wilson telescope - Mr. Fisher, if you could somehow put the Mount Wilson telescope inside the Mount Palomar telescope, you still wouldn't be able to detect my interest in your problem.” ProblemsTelescopes Author:George S. Kaufman
“You've heard of people living in a fool's paradise? Well, Leonora has a duplex there.” PeopleWellsHomeHouseHeardFoolParadise Author:George S. Kaufman
“There was laughter in the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.” ArtBeliefLaughterJokesTheaterEntertainment Author:George S. Kaufman
“You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause!” BusinessFoolChristmasSanityBooks And MoviesTop 100Fool Me Author:George S. Kaufman
“Lawyers-they get together all day and say to each other, "What can we postpone next?" The only thing they don't postpone, of course, is their bill, which arrives regularly. You've heard about the man who got the bill from his lawyer which said, "For crossing the street to speak to you and discovering it was not you, twelve dollars."” MenSaidTogetherCoursesNextSpeakHeardStreetsHe ManBillsDollarsLawyerTwelveDiscoveringCrossingsGet TogetherCrossing The Street Author:George S. Kaufman
“At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one.” DramaticAbsentRehearsal Author:George S. Kaufman
“Satire is what closes on Saturday night.” NightSatireSaturdaySaturday Night Author:George S. Kaufman
“The kind of doctor I want is one who when he's not examining me is home studying medicine.” WantKindHomeStudyDoctorsMedicineExamining Author:George S. Kaufman
“Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.” HoursOfficeLunchOffice Hours Author:George S. Kaufman
“I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.” HumorFunnyFoodHumorousAirlineAir TravelJust For FunAirplanes And Flying Author:George S. Kaufman
