“You never know what people will choose to be offended by.” PeopleKnowsOffended Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I don't know if I change my act from century to century. Sometimes I'm onstage doing imitations and references to people who have been dead for 50 years.” PeopleIfsKnowsYearsHas BeensSometimesCenturyImitation Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I guess if they ever do a remake of 'Sophie's Choice,' I could play the Meryl Streep part. I've got to work on my Polish accent. Maybe I'll be the definitive King Lear one day. You know, if they ever feel that King Lear should be more Jewy.” IfsKnowsFeelsShouldPlayChoicesKingsOne DayAccentsPolishSophieRemakesLear Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.” KnowsFeelsSaidJesusTalkingAcceptingHellTheoryGo To HellAccept Me Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.” PeopleThinkingKnowsLastsSidesAirSittingTablesSatNecksConditioningSupperAir ConditioningLast Supper Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'” KnowsClubsComedianOwnersNobody KnowsBack WhenJerryHanging Around Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.” KnowsAcceptingHellTheoryGo To HellAccept Me Author:Gilbert Gottfried
