“I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.” WantKindI CanDatingNakedPlatonicPlatonic Relationship Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.” IfsTryingI CanHousePicksPolicePick MePick Me Up Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept.” HumansI CanPoliticalHuman BeingsAcceptingPolitical CorrectnessBeing ThereCorrectnessMidget Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.” PeopleIfsLooksI CanCountryHomeBigsPerfectFiveMinutesCarWindowLondonBusTowersFive MinutesPalacesBuckingham Palace Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“One thing I can take credit for, along with the rest of show business, is when the red ribbons were out, we cured AIDS. Any advancements that came towards fighting AIDS were not done by scientists or doctors - it was people with little ribbons on their lapels.” PeopleLittlesI CanDoneShowsFightingOne ThingRedDoctorsScientistCreditAidsShow BusinessAdvancementRibbonsRed Ribbon Author:Gilbert Gottfried
