Rubber Balls and Liquor
A source page for quotes linked to Gilbert Gottfried.
“If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.”
“No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.”
“I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.”
“I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.”
“I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement.”
“I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.”
“I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.”
“I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.”
“If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.”