“A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'” PeopleLooksWaitingAnswersWalksMinutesCoupleHusbandLook UpApartmentCeilingsUpstairsLandlord Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“A lot of people who claim they're political comedians are just comedians who have opinions. But they stop being funny the minute they give their opinions.” PeopleGivingPoliticalOpinionMinutesClaimsComedianBeing Funny Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.” PeopleIfsLooksI CanCountryHomeBigsPerfectFiveMinutesCarWindowLondonBusTowersFive MinutesPalacesBuckingham Palace Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it.” IfsMeanHalfMinutesInternetErase Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.” IfsFeelsYearsWould BePoliticalNextStrongFiveMinutesJokesFive MinutesOutdatedPolitical Jokes Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in front of the audience.” ThinkingIdeasAudienceStreetsMinutesFrontsWalkingWow Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, “They’ll be another one floating by any minute now.”” MinutesGirlfriendSplitsFloatingMy Girlfriend Author:Gilbert Gottfried
