“I guess if they ever do a remake of 'Sophie's Choice,' I could play the Meryl Streep part. I've got to work on my Polish accent. Maybe I'll be the definitive King Lear one day. You know, if they ever feel that King Lear should be more Jewy.” IfsKnowsFeelsShouldPlayChoicesKingsOne DayAccentsPolishSophieRemakesLear Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.” KnowsFeelsSaidJesusTalkingAcceptingHellTheoryGo To HellAccept Me Author:Gilbert Gottfried
“I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.” IfsFeelsYearsWould BePoliticalNextStrongFiveMinutesJokesFive MinutesOutdatedPolitical Jokes Author:Gilbert Gottfried
