“I didn't think it was fair to pretend to give of myself when I was so selfishly consumed with my own drives.” ThinkingGivingMy OwnFairsObsessionConsumed Author:Jackie Mason
“I'm still suffering from shock from the last war. I was almost drafted! Luckily I was wounded while taking the physical. When I reached the psychiatrist, I said, Give me a gun, I'll wipe out the whole German Army in five minutes. He said, You're crazy! I said, Write it down!” GivingWritingSaidStillsWarWholeLastsSufferingFiveCrazyMinutesGunGive MeArmyShockWoundedFive MinutesWipePsychiatrist Author:Jackie Mason
“The New York Times distorts and defrauds the news and then claims to be impartial. They never give an even-handed version of the news - that's the last thing they'd ever do.” GivingLastsNew YorkNewsClaimsVersionsNew York Times Author:Jackie Mason
“As a class, Jews give three times as much money to charity as anybody else, but they feel guilty about their wealth anyway. They simply can't accept the idea of ever being Republicans.” GivingFeelsIdeasThreeWealthAcceptingClassRepublicanCharityJewGuiltyThree Times Author:Jackie Mason
“The key is that I'm always relevant. Some of these comedians have nothing to say. They don't have any ideas so it's "F" this and "F" that. They give you a whole series of swear words and it's really just a way for them to get themselves out of trouble when they can't come up with anything. They're irrelevant and ridiculous.” WayGivingIdeasWholeTroubleKeysSeriesCome UpRidiculousComedianRelevantSwearIrrelevantSwear Word Author:Jackie Mason
