“I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.” PeopleTryingI Can Author:Jackie Mason
“When most people return from Europe, they tell tales of all the sites they saw, the shopping, the entertainment, etc. Jews, on the other hand, return and say I had this slice of cake in Austria, let me tell you, I don't know how they make it! It was great!” PeopleKnowsHandsKnow HowSawsReturnEuropeLet MeJewEntertainmentTalesEtcCakeShoppingSiteAustria Author:Jackie Mason
“While I have the utmost respect for people who practice the Christian faith, the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a matzo ball or kosher salami.” PeopleKnowsFactsChristianPracticeBallsChristian FaithKosherSalami Author:Jackie Mason
“I'm crazy about the fact that the Jewish people should survive because they have so much to contribute and so many values to contribute to the world. It would be a much better world, a much more peaceful and non-violent world if we lived by Jewish values.” PeopleIfsWorldShouldFactsWould BeValuesCrazyViolentPeacefulNon ViolentJewish Values Author:Jackie Mason
“People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.” PeopleWayParticularFoolCriteriaQualifications Author:Jackie Mason
“A schmuck is a general term of disrespect. It's a term of contempt and derision. It applies to a lot of people.” PeopleTermContemptDisrespectDerisionSchmucks Author:Jackie Mason
“Predictions are preposterous. What usually happens is that people tell you that what they'd like to see happen instead of what they really think will happen. There are so many variations and possibilities that there's no way to ever really know for certain.” PeopleThinkingKnowsWayHappensCertainPossibilityPredictionsVariation Author:Jackie Mason
“People come to my shows and know that they're going to hear about what's going on in the world - what's happening at the moment. My material is as new as anything on the dinner table.” PeopleKnowsWorldMomentsShowsMaterialsHappeningsTablesDinnerDinner Table Author:Jackie Mason
