“Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .” ThinkingWorldWifePleaseMy WifeGentlemanGirlfriendRemarkableMy GirlfriendLadies And Gentlemen Author:Jackie Mason
“America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.” WorldCountryAmericaTearsFlagsTagMattresses Author:Jackie Mason
“I'm crazy about the fact that the Jewish people should survive because they have so much to contribute and so many values to contribute to the world. It would be a much better world, a much more peaceful and non-violent world if we lived by Jewish values.” PeopleIfsWorldShouldFactsWould BeValuesCrazyViolentPeacefulNon ViolentJewish Values Author:Jackie Mason
“Jews are the best dressers in the world. They buy the best clothes, the best homes, the best cars. The best of everything. The only thing is, they get it for less.” WorldHomeCarClothesJewDressers Author:Jackie Mason
“People come to my shows and know that they're going to hear about what's going on in the world - what's happening at the moment. My material is as new as anything on the dinner table.” PeopleKnowsWorldMomentsShowsMaterialsHappeningsTablesDinnerDinner Table Author:Jackie Mason
“Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.” WorldLoveImportantFunnyLove IsInspiringMoneyStupidImportant ThingsMaking MoneyFunny LoveFunny MoneyLove Of MoneyPersonal FinanceWorld LoveWise MoneyInspirational MoneyMoney Can't Buy HappinessOld MoneyMoney And HappinessLove And MoneyCan Money Buy HappinessMoney MattersBorrowing MoneyI Love Money Author:Jackie Mason
