“Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.” PeopleChildrenDesireSecretAdmittingBadgersSecret Desire Author:Mallory Ortberg
“You can't prevent a possible future closeness between your upcoming child and one or more of their grandparents.” ChildrenGrandparentCloseness Author:Mallory Ortberg
“A woman who repeatedly asks a man she knows to be gay when he's going to get married and have children is not trying to let sleeping dogs lie.” KnowsMenTryingChildrenLyingAsksSleepDogGayMarriedSleeping Dogs Author:Mallory Ortberg
“There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child, no matter how much you think it would be better for him to move out.” ThinkingWayChildrenMatterWould BeMovingAdultsAdult Children Author:Mallory Ortberg
“There are alternatives to pregnancy if you want another child.” IfsWantChildrenAlternativesPregnancy Author:Mallory Ortberg
“A child is not a bargaining chip or a learning tool. Your focus, if you adopt a child of a different race, should be on nurturing and protecting your child from bigotry, not deploying him or her as an anti-racist Mr. Fix-It.” IfsShouldChildrenDifferentRaceFocusToolsOur ChildrenYour ChildrenRacistBigotryChipsNurturingBargainingDifferent RacesAnti RacistDeploying Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone, "What I want right now will never change, and as long as I promise you I do - or don't - want a child - or a specific number of children - before we get married, we will never have to experience fear, anxiety, uncertainty, or the pain of not getting what we want, when we want it.” ThinkingChildrenLongPainImpossibleHonestPromiseAnxietyMarriedUncertaintyNever ChangeGreat IdeaI PromiseGetting Married Author:Mallory Ortberg
