“As long as you don't think he's just pretending not to mind for your sake, it sounds like he has truly accepted that blow jobs are too difficult and painful for you to perform, and he's still very satisfied with your sex life. Take him at his word.” ThinkingMindLongStillsJobsSexDifficultSoundSakeBlowPainfulAcceptedSatisfiedPretendingBlow Job Author:Mallory Ortberg
“If you go out with someone and decide you don't want to see them again, do them the courtesy of saying, "Hey, I had a nice time, but I don't think things are going to work out between us." Only you can help fight ghosting.” IfsThinkingWantHelpingFightingNiceWork OutHeyGoing To WorkCourtesyNice Time Author:Mallory Ortberg
“There's simply no way you can tell a woman you work with that you disapprove of her relationship with her adult child, no matter how much you think it would be better for him to move out.” ThinkingWayChildrenMatterWould BeMovingAdultsAdult Children Author:Mallory Ortberg
“As you feel increasingly comfortable around your friends, I think it's more than fine to share the basic details of your heroin addiction with them. If they seem receptive, you can feel free to talk about it in further detail; if they seem judgmental or uncomfortable, you can move on to other topics.” IfsThinkingFeelsSeemsMovingShareFineComfortableAddictionDetailsUncomfortableTopicsHeroinJudgmentalReceptiveHeroin Addiction Author:Mallory Ortberg
“Anyone who thinks it’s funny to name their network "Tom’sHugeEtc" is going to think it’s funny that one of his neighbors is also named Tom and is embarrassed by it.” ThinkingNamesNeighborTomsEmbarrassed Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I agree that biphobia is real, but I think it's absolutely worth considering that someone who "despises" having sex with her husband - and men in general - may not be interested in men sexually.” ThinkingMenMayRealSexHusbandAgreeDespiseConsideringSexuallyHaving Sex Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I don't think it's a requirement that a happy, fulfilling relationship also provide the best sex of all time.” ThinkingSexAll TimeFulfillingRequirements Author:Mallory Ortberg
“Depression cannot be overcome by listing a series of good things in one's life, any more than a broken foot can be healed by thinking about all the other bones you have that aren't broken.” ThinkingFeetBrokenOvercomingGood ThingsSeriesBonesHealed Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I don't think unfriending your old crush on Facebook will do much other than remove him from your Facebook feed. Don't beat yourself up over what you dream about; there are a lot worse things that could slip across the transom of your unconscious mind than an old high school crush who was always nice to you.” ThinkingMindDreamSchoolNiceBeatsHigh SchoolCrushUnconsciousRemoveYour FaceSlipsUnconscious Mind Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I do not think it is selfish to want to donate a kidney "only" to family members.” ThinkingWantMembersSelfishFamily MembersKidneysDonate Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I'm of the opinion that it is always a kind and appropriate decision to get in touch with someone who's lost a loved one to remind them that you're thinking of them and have fond memories of the deceased.” ThinkingKindLostMemoriesDecisionOpinionAppropriateLoved OnesDeceasedFond Memories Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I hate to get gender essentialist, but I'm starting to think that a lot of married men have some sort of heterosexually induced dentistry aversion.” ThinkingMenHateMarriedI HateStartingGenderAversionMarried ManDentistry Author:Mallory Ortberg
“I think that it's a great idea to have honest conversations about children before getting married. I also think it's impossible to promise someone, "What I want right now will never change, and as long as I promise you I do - or don't - want a child - or a specific number of children - before we get married, we will never have to experience fear, anxiety, uncertainty, or the pain of not getting what we want, when we want it.” ThinkingChildrenLongPainImpossibleHonestPromiseAnxietyMarriedUncertaintyNever ChangeGreat IdeaI PromiseGetting Married Author:Mallory Ortberg
“If your partner asks you if something bothers you, and something bothers you, the best thing you can do is say, "Yes, it bothers me." Otherwise you create a situation where they think everything is fine, continue with the offending behavior, while you build up a secret reservoir of resentment that will eventually come pouring out, to their shock.” ThinkingSecretSituationBehaviorBotherResentment Author:Mallory Ortberg
