“Don't badger people without children into admitting the secret desire for children you're sure they have to you! Don't badger anyone! Leave the badgering to the badgers.” PeopleChildrenDesireSecretAdmittingBadgersSecret Desire Author:Mallory Ortberg
“If you don't like potlucks, the solution to your problem is "don't go to potlucks," not "insist other people don't have them."” PeopleIfsProblemSolutionsPotluck Author:Mallory Ortberg
“Some people give gifts in order to bewilder, confuse, and manipulate their recipients.” PeopleGivingOrderManipulate Author:Mallory Ortberg
“Addicts sometimes have a penchant for becoming the center of attention at other people's celebrations.” PeopleSometimesAttentionBecomingCelebrationAddictCenter Of Attention Author:Mallory Ortberg
“o one is right when it comes to destination weddings. It’s a big ask, requesting people take time off work and fly off to take a cruise just to see you get married, and they’re perfectly justified in saying no if they don’t have the time, the money, or simply the inclination.” PeopleBigsAsksMarriedDestinationTake TimeCruiseTime Off Author:Mallory Ortberg
“Enjoy your relationship with your boyfriend and don't worry about the people or situations you dream about. Once you wake up, they're over; let them go.” PeopleDreamEnjoySituationWorryWake UpOur RelationshipYour Boyfriend Author:Mallory Ortberg
“So many people choose silence after the immediate wake of a death out of fear of saying something out of turn or "bringing up bad memories" that bereaved people often feel forgotten.” PeopleFeelsTurnsMemoriesSilenceForgottenBad Memories Author:Mallory Ortberg
“"Not being virulently and overtly racist against black people" and "treating gay people like human beings" are necessary conditions of greatness.” PeopleHumansBlackHuman BeingsConditionsGreatnessGayRacistBlack PeopleGay People Author:Mallory Ortberg
“Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are.” PeopleWho We AreCelibacy Author:Mallory Ortberg
“Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people.” PeopleDoeDifferentFacesChallengesOur Lives Author:Mallory Ortberg
