“We find that even the parents who justify spanking to themselves are defensive and embarrassed about it....I suspect that deep inthe memory of every parent are the feelings that had attended his own childhood spankings, the feelings of humiliation, of helplessness, of submission through fear. The parent who finds himself spanking his own child cannot dispel the ghosts of his own childhood.” ChildrenFeelingsParentMemoriesChildhoodStyleGhostJustifySuspectsEmbarrassedHumiliationSubmissionHelplessnessSpankingParenting Styles Author:Selma Fraiberg
“The experience of a sense of guilt for wrong-doing is necessary for the development of self-control. The guilt feelings will laterserve as a warning signal which the child can produce himself when an impulse to repeat the naughty act comes over him. When the child can produce his on warning signals, independent of the actual presence of the adult, he is on the way to developing a conscience.” WayChildrenSelfFeelingsProduceDevelopmentConscienceAdultsIndependentGuiltDevelopingImpulseRepeatsWarningSelf ControlSignalsNaughtyGuilt Feelings Author:Selma Fraiberg
“It seems to me that we have to draw the line in sibling rivalry whenever rivalry goes out of bounds into destructive behavior of aphysical or verbal kind. The principle needs to be this: Whatever the reasons for your feelings you will have to find civilized solutions.” NeedsKindReasonFeelingsSeemsLinesPrinciplesBehaviorSolutionsDrawsBoundsDestructiveCivilizedSiblingRivalrySibling RivalryDestructive Behavior Book:The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood Source: The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood
“An older child, one who possesses a conscience, will be troubled with self-reproaches and feelings of shame for his naughtiness, even if he is not discovered. But our two-year-olds and our three-year- olds experience guilt feelings only when they feel or anticipate disapproval from the outside. In doing this, they have taken the first steps toward the goal of conscience, but there is a long way ahead before the policeman outside becomes the policeman inside.” IfsWayFeelsYearsFirstsChildrenLongTwoSelfFeelingsThreeGoalStepsTakenConscienceShameGuiltTwo YearsThree YearsFirst StepsLong WayPolicemenAnticipateReproachDisapprovalThree Year OldsTwo Year OldsGuilt Feelings Author:Selma Fraiberg
