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Selma Fraiberg

Selma Fraiberg Quotes

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Famous Selma Fraiberg Quotes

“It can be demonstrated that the child's contact with the real world is strengthened by his periodic excursions into fantasy. It becomes easier to tolerate the frustrations of the real world and to accede to the demands of reality if one can restore himself at intervals in a world where the deepest wishes can achieve imaginary gratification.”

IfsWorldChildrenRealRealityWishImaginationFantasyAchieveEasierDemandContactFrustrationReal WorldImaginaryTolerateGratificationIntervalsExcursions
Author:Selma Fraiberg
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“A two-year-old can be taught to curb his aggressions completely if the parents employ strong enough methods, but the achievement of such control at an early age may be bought at a price which few parents today would be willing to pay. The slow education for control demands much more parental time and patience at the beginning, but the child who learns control in this way will be the child who acquires healthy self-discipline later.”

IfsWayYearsMayChildrenTwoSelfEnoughWould BeAgeTodayStrongParentPayTaughtWillingDisciplineHealthyDemandAchievementMethodAcquireTwo YearsAggressionSelf DisciplineStrong EnoughParentalCurbTwo Year OldsTime And Patience
Book:The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood
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“We find that the child who does not yet have language at his command, the child under two and a half, will be able to cooperate with our education if we go easy on the "blocking" techniques, the outright prohibitions, the "no's" and go heavy on "substitution" techniques, that is, the redirection or certain impulses and the offering of substitute satisfactions.”

IfsChildrenDoeTwoAbleCertainLanguageEasyHalfDisciplineSatisfactionHeavyTechniqueCommandBlockImpulseSubstitutesOfferingProhibitionSubstitutionRedirection
Author:Selma Fraiberg
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“For the child whose impulsiveness is indulged, who retains his primitive-discharge mechanisms, is not only an ill-behaved child but a child whose intellectual development is slowed down. No matter how well he is endowed intellectually, if direct action and immediate gratification are the guiding principles of his behavior, there will be less incentive to develop the higher mental processes, to reason, to employ the imagination creatively. . . .”

IfsWellsChildrenMatterReasonActionProcessImaginationPrinciplesDevelopmentHigherBehaviorIntellectualDirectIllMechanismPrimitiveIncentivesGratificationDischargeGuiding PrinciplesDirect ActionIntellectual DevelopmentImmediate Gratification
Book:The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood
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“If we can find a principle to guide us in the handling of the child between nine and eighteen months, we can see that we need to allow enough opportunity for handling and investigation of objects to further intellectual development and just enough restriction required for family harmony and for the safety of the child.”

IfsNeedsChildrenEnoughOpportunityPrinciplesObjectsMonthsDevelopmentIntellectualHarmonySafetyGuidesNineInvestigationRestrictionEighteenIntellectual Development
Author:Selma Fraiberg
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“An older child, one who possesses a conscience, will be troubled with self-reproaches and feelings of shame for his naughtiness, even if he is not discovered. But our two-year-olds and our three-year- olds experience guilt feelings only when they feel or anticipate disapproval from the outside. In doing this, they have taken the first steps toward the goal of conscience, but there is a long way ahead before the policeman outside becomes the policeman inside.”

IfsWayFeelsYearsFirstsChildrenLongTwoSelfFeelingsThreeGoalStepsTakenConscienceShameGuiltTwo YearsThree YearsFirst StepsLong WayPolicemenAnticipateReproachDisapprovalThree Year OldsTwo Year OldsGuilt Feelings
Author:Selma Fraiberg
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“It no longer makes sense to speak of "feeding problems" or "sleep problems" or "negative behavior" is if they were distinct categories, but to speak of "problems of development" and to search for the meaning of feeding and sleep disturbances or behavior disorders in the developmental phase which has produced them.”

IfsProblemSpeakSleepDevelopmentBehaviorNegativeMake SenseCategoriesDisorderPhasesFeedingDisturbanceDevelopmentalNegative Behavior
Book:The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood
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