“There must be a solemn and terrible aloneness that comes over the child as he takes those first independent steps. All this is lost to memory and we can only reconstruct it through analogies in later life....To the child who takes his first steps and finds himself walking alone, this moment must bring the first sharp sense of the uniqueness and separateness of his body and his person, the discovery of the solitary self.” FirstsChildrenPersonsSelfMomentsBodyLostImaginationMemoriesStepsTerribleWalkingDiscoveryIndependentFirst StepsSolitaryUniquenessSolemnAnalogiesSeparatenessWalking Alone Author:Selma Fraiberg
“A two-year-old can be taught to curb his aggressions completely if the parents employ strong enough methods, but the achievement of such control at an early age may be bought at a price which few parents today would be willing to pay. The slow education for control demands much more parental time and patience at the beginning, but the child who learns control in this way will be the child who acquires healthy self-discipline later.” IfsWayYearsMayChildrenTwoSelfEnoughWould BeAgeTodayStrongParentPayTaughtWillingDisciplineHealthyDemandAchievementMethodAcquireTwo YearsAggressionSelf DisciplineStrong EnoughParentalCurbTwo Year OldsTime And Patience Book:The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood Source: The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood
“The experience of a sense of guilt for wrong-doing is necessary for the development of self-control. The guilt feelings will laterserve as a warning signal which the child can produce himself when an impulse to repeat the naughty act comes over him. When the child can produce his on warning signals, independent of the actual presence of the adult, he is on the way to developing a conscience.” WayChildrenSelfFeelingsProduceDevelopmentConscienceAdultsIndependentGuiltDevelopingImpulseRepeatsWarningSelf ControlSignalsNaughtyGuilt Feelings Author:Selma Fraiberg
“The parent who loves his child dearly but asks for nothing in return might qualify as a saint, but he will not qualify as a parent. For a child who can claim love without meeting any of the obligations of love will be a self-centered child and many such children have grown up in our time to become petulant lovers and sullen marriage partners because the promise of unconditional love has not been fulfilled.” ChildrenSelfMightAsksParentReturnLoversPromiseClaimsMeetingsSaintPartnersObligationOur TimeUnconditional LoveFulfilledUnconditionalSelf CenteredSullen Book:The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood Source: The Magic Years: Understanding and Handling the Problems of Early Childhood
“An older child, one who possesses a conscience, will be troubled with self-reproaches and feelings of shame for his naughtiness, even if he is not discovered. But our two-year-olds and our three-year- olds experience guilt feelings only when they feel or anticipate disapproval from the outside. In doing this, they have taken the first steps toward the goal of conscience, but there is a long way ahead before the policeman outside becomes the policeman inside.” IfsWayFeelsYearsFirstsChildrenLongTwoSelfFeelingsThreeGoalStepsTakenConscienceShameGuiltTwo YearsThree YearsFirst StepsLong WayPolicemenAnticipateReproachDisapprovalThree Year OldsTwo Year OldsGuilt Feelings Author:Selma Fraiberg
