“I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it.” FunnyGamesBrotherMemoirLove LifeCompanionship Author:Woody Allen
“I made $3,000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash. That was a bad situation, because I bought ridiculous stuff. I bought a snake bite emergency kit. Then I said to my friends, "Don't even worry about snakes anymore". My friend stepped on a worm, and I said, "Lay down!"” MadeSaidHumorFunnyStuffSituationWorryBrotherMy FriendsPaidLaysRidiculousOpeningBitesCashSnakesWormsEmergenciesBad Situations Author:Mitch Hedberg
“A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"” SaidHumorFunnyMinesBrotherGirlfriendMatesTwinsMoustacheShagging Author:Billy Connolly
“A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard."” MenHumorFunnyWifeHe ManBrotherMy WifeMatesTwinsBeard Author:Frank Carson
“People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."” PeopleFirstsChildrenHumorBigsKidsFunnyBrotherBurnedSandwichesGrandmaYour BrotherBig FamiliesBurned Out Author:Jim Gaffigan
“We just found out my little brother has a peanut allergy, which is very serious I know. But still I feel like my parents are totally overreacting - they caught me eating a tiny little bag of airline peanuts and they kicked me out of his funeral.” KnowsFeelsLittlesStillsHumorFunnyFoundParentSeriousBrotherEatingCaughtTinyBagsFuneralAirlinePeanutsAllergiesLittle BrotherMy Little Brother Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“George: Why've you had a grudge against your brother for 15 years? Benny: We Lopezes are a proud people... George: You have a birthday lunch at Denny's every month. We're not that proud!” PeopleYearsHumorFunnyBrotherMonthsProudLunchGrudgeYour Brother Author:George Lopez
“Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get my hair cut on Dekalb Avenue. I never been in a barbershop and heard a bunch of brothers talking about Jews. Black people don't hate Jews. Black people hate white people! We don't got time to dice white people up into little groups. I hate everybody! I don't care if you just got here. "Hey, I'm Romanian." "You Romanian cracker!"” PeopleIfsMenLittlesCareFunnyTogetherHateBlackWhiteTalkingMillionsComedyCuttingHeardGroupsBrotherHairI HateJewDon't CareBunchHeyI Don't CareMarchBlack PeopleAvenuesDiceDon't HateCrackersHair CutBarbershop Author:Chris Rock
“I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.” LifeInspirationalFunnyWaitingFamilyBrotherGrewSixGrew UpDancingDanceParentingMy BrotherBathroomHilariousDysfunctional FamilyMy SiblingsMusic And DanceCute SiblingFamily ReunionFunny FamilySiblings BrothersSiblings Sisters And BrothersFunny Family ReunionFunny DanceFunny SiblingFunny BrotherCute Brother Author:Bob Hope
“Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.” WellsHumorFunnyBrotherSpeechTherapyMy BrotherHelloSpeech Therapy Author:Emo Philips
“But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright Brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.” DoePhilosophyFactsHumorFunnyScienceInterestingBrotherGeniusLaughterIntelligenceCosmosLaughedClownDoing YouColumbusFunny LeadershipImplyingSmile And LaughPale Blue DotWright Brothers Author:Carl Sagan