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Dental Floss Quotes

Browse 15 quotes about Dental Floss.

Dental Floss Quotes

“I asked a nurse for dental floss and was told that I am not allowed dental floss. Apparently dental floss can be used for several functions besides the maintenance of healthy gums. These apparently include self-harm. When instructed that I was not permitted dental floss because of “risks it raises associated with suicide” I envisioned a noose made entirely of floss. Realizing such a noose would require a dramatic amount of floss to effectively uphold any human person, I brought it to the attention of a nurse. “I don’t believe that even the most practiced engineers could fashion any functioning noose out of a single container of floss,” I say. “People use it to cut themselves,” she explained. “Oh,” I replied. I had just about come to terms with the no-floss rule until the hospital, in a flagrant display of disrespect for its patients, chose to serve us corn on the cob for lunch. “Are you aware that we are not allowed dental floss?” I yelled at the nurse bringing me the corn. I then threw the corn violently from my plate into the nearest wall.”

HumorHumourHumorousCornHumorous QuotesHospitalDental Floss
Book:Oh Honey
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“....You should keep dental floss on you at all times; when your eyesight goes, quit driving; don't keep too many secrets, eventually they'll eat away at you. But the most valuable lesson he taught me was this: Every day we get older, and some of us get wiser, but there's no end to our evolution. We are all a mess of contradictions; some of our traits work for us, some against us. And this is what I figured out on my own: Over the course of a lifetime, people change, but not as much as you'd think. Nobody really grows up.”

PeopleThinkingShouldEndsCoursesGrowsMy OwnSecretGrowing UpTaughtEvolutionLessonsLifetimeValuableQuittingDrivingAll TimeMessContradictionTraitsWiserDentalEyesightValuable LessonsDental Floss
Book:The Spellmans Strike Again: Document #4
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“When we hear a Mozart piano concerto today, we're most likely to hear the piano part played on a modern concert grand. In the hands of a professional pianist, such a piano can bury the strings and the winds and hold its own against the brass. But Mozart wasn't composing for a nine-foot-long, thousand-pound piano; he was composing for a five-and-a-half-foot-long, hundred-and-fifty-pound piano built from balsa wood and dental floss.”

LongHandsTodayHalfFiveFeetModernWindThousandHundredBuiltWoodsNinePianoFiftyPoundsStringsConcertsComposingPianistBrassDentalDental Floss
Author:Robert Greenberg
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“A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it's not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing - it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street.”

PeopleHumansHeartKindPersonsLongValuesSleepStreetsNormalReactionsInequalityKneesSensitivityBleedingJerkThis SocietySleeping InNonsensicalDentalCinnamonBleeding HeartDental Floss
Author:George Carlin
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