“My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'” IfsWantSaidHumorWantedFunnyComedyFoodMy FriendsYeahFrozenBananas Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'” SaidGirlComedyFoodCookingTerrorismYesterdayCulinaryMcdonaldsFries Author:Jay Leno
“Sandwiches are wonderful. You don't need a spoon or a plate!” NeedsComedyWonderfulFoodPlatesSandwichesSpoons Author:Paul Lynde
“It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption.” ThinkingComedyFoodWineNaiveBreedingAmusedPresumptionBest WineBurgundy Author:James Thurber
“One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.” TwoHumorFunnyThreeComedyFoodHumorousDrinkingWittyBeerComedianSarcasticTequilaCocktail DrinksCool Status Author:George Carlin
“I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'” SaidThreeHoursComedyFoodGrassMilkWaiter Author:Phyllis Diller
“Home. The word circled comfortably in my mouth like bubble gum, swished around sweetly soft and satisfying. Home. Try saying it aloud to yourself. Home. Isn’t it like taking a bite of something lovely? If only we could eat words.” WritingHomeHumorFunnyHouseLanguageComedyFoodSpeechEatingWordsAbodeMetafictionDomicile Book:Beginner's Luke Source: Beginner's Luke