“That's something - you laugh about Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics!” ThinkingKnowsMenFirstsRealBigsGuyLaughingJokesFunny Men Author:Alan Vega
“I don't have any jokes about my divorce or my ex-husband, who is a lovely person. It really is about how I was an idiot trying to push this guy to get married when I wasn't even sure if I wanted to.” IfsTryingPersonsWantedGuyHusbandMarriedJokesDivorceLovelyIdiotThis GuyExesEx HusbandLovely Person Author:Jen Kirkman
“The wrong kind of guy to fall in love with is the guy who will let go of the steering wheel as a joke. A guy who finds it amusing to make you uncomfortable, which is more common than you'd think, is someone you want to avoid.” ThinkingWantKindGuyFallCommonLetting GoJokesFalling In LoveUncomfortableWheelsAmusingSteering Author:An Na
“Reagan was an exceedingly likeable guy, just a heck of a nice fellow, despite his politics. He was funny and loved a good joke, the dirtier, I'm afraid the more ethnic, the better. I don't think he brought very much to the presidency, except charisma and success.” ThinkingGuyNiceJokesFellowsDespitePresidencyCharismaLikeable Author:Walter Cronkite
“I'm going to keep talking about what I think is interesting for my entire career. If you want to hear about how women do a lot of shoe shopping or how being married sucks, go see the guy who does jokes about that. But if you come to see my live show, there's going to be 20 minutes on religion for the rest of my life, probably. If that makes me a caricature, so be it.” IfsThinkingWantDoeShowsGuyInterestingTalkingCareersMinutesMarriedJokesShoesShoppingBeing MarriedCaricaturesKeep Talking Author:David Cross
“The technology companies don't understand creative things at all. Silicon Valley's view of the creative process in Hollywood is a bunch of guys in their young thirties sitting on a couch, drinking beer, and thinking up jokes.” ThinkingYoungGuyProcessViewsCompanyTechnologyCreativeJokesSittingHollywoodDrinkingBunchBeerValleysCreative ProcessCouchesSiliconSilicon ValleyDrinking Beer Author:Steve Jobs
“If you're going to do a Chris Christie joke, just say, 'Christie spent $82,000 at a concession stand at MetLife Stadium. Then he turned to his friends and said, 'You guys want anything?'' That's a joke. I can't believe it. I caved in. I feel awful.” IfsWantFeelsBelieveSaidI CanGuyJokesAwfulStadiumsConcessionsChristie Author:Jimmy Fallon
“I was always pretty broad. I've had a couple bad experiences. One time, I showed up late for a gig in Brooklyn at an Italian restaurant. I ran on stage, did my show, and then some guy in the audience threatened to kill me because he didn't like my joke. Instead of talking to him, I just ran off stage. And then, because I was late, the owner of the restaurant threatened to kill me. And I was 19 years old and so scared that I almost started crying. But, I've done every gig you can imagine, in every state.” YearsStatesDoneShowsGuyTalkingAudienceImagineStageCryCoupleLateJokesScaredRanRestaurantsOwnersBroadsItalianOne TimeThreatenedKill MeGigsBrooklynBad ExperiencesTalking To Him Author:Nick Swardson
“You know that old joke about the guy who lives to be 104? The punch line goes something like 'If I knew I was gonna get this old, I'd have taken much better care of myself.' Well, guess what? We actually are living longer, and the time to start taking care of ourselves is right this minute.” IfsKnowsWellsCareGuyLinesTakenMinutesJokesOld Jokes Author:Oprah Winfrey
“You have to understand that people feel threatened by a writer. It's very curious. He knows something they don't know. He knows how to write, and that's a subtle, disturbing quality he has. Some directors without even knowing it, resent the writer in the same way Bob Hope might resent the fact he ain't funny without twelve guys writing the jokes. The director knows the script he is carrying around on the set every day was written by someone, and that's just not something that all directors easily digest.” PeopleKnowsWayFeelsWritingFactsMightGuyQualityKnow HowKnowingWrittenDirectorsJokesScriptsCuriousSubtleTwelveBobThreatenedDisturbingResent Author:Ernest Lehman
“I think 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that 'The Simpsons' is taking jokes from 'Family Guy.' And I can tell you, that ain't the case.” ThinkingI CanGuyCasesStyleDadJokesTerritoryAccusationFamily GuyAmerican Dad Author:Matt Groening
“Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get guys that want to take me fishing.” WantGuyStarsRocksJokesComedianThrownFishingTake MeRock StarUnderwear Author:Les Claypool
“I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke; he couldnt upset people, really.” PeopleDifferentPastGuyVoiceWrittenJokesPrioritiesUpsetBad GuysJimmyDifferent Voices Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.” ReasonGuyVoiceJokesRaisesTensionOffensiveTopicsFodderVoice Of Reason Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying he botched the joke. ... This guy can lose elections he's not even in.” KindGuyLosesJokesElectionCaliforniaThis GuyControversyJohn KerryBackfire Author:David Letterman
“I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'” PeopleThinkingFeelsDoeGuyHateCausesTerribleJokesPrintThat Guy Author:Aziz Ansari
“I make comedies and I always try... I don't try but I allow to have at least 5% of the jokes or have some jokes that I know will be understood by only about 5% of the audience. It's that guy in the corner who gets it and laughs. But he has to have his jokes too. That's part of my audience. Part of my audience is the people who will only get certain things.” PeopleKnowsTryingGuyCertainAudienceLaughingComedyJokesUnderstoodCornersThat Guy Author:Alexander Payne