“If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.” IfsMenFirstsEndsHumorFunnyFilmDoorsWeekHusbandCamerasVideoMy HusbandScreamLocksBathroomYour HusbandVideo Cameras Author:Rita Rudner
“I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.” KnowsTryingUseHumorLightFunnyUsedNightTurnsWaterNiceMiddleDatingGet UpBathroomTurn-onMiddle Of The NightFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara
“Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.” MenHumorFunnyComplicatedSuitsWornBathroomSkisJumpsuits Author:Rita Rudner
“But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.” MenHumorFunnyBathroomCocky Author:Chelsea Handler
“You can say, 'Can I use your bathroom?' and nobody cares. But if you ask, 'Can I use the plop-plop machine?' it always breaks the conversation.” IfsUseHumorCareFunnyAsksBreakConversationMachinesBathroomNobody Cares Author:Dave Attell
“People go to Vegas, and they don't know what to do; here's what you do. You go to the casino in your hotel. On your arrival, you get $100 in quarters. Take that $100 back to your hotel room and stare at it for a long, long time. Why? Because you're never going to see them again. Then you take those quarters to the bathroom and you flush them, one by one by one. And the nice thing about that is that every so often the toilet will back up, and you'll feel like a WINNER!” PeopleKnowsFeelsLongHumorFunnyRoomsNiceLong TimeWinnerStaringHotelQuartersBathroomToiletsVegasNice ThingsArrivalsHotel RoomsCasinos Author:Lewis Black
“I was going up to the bathroom and a woman asked me: "Have you a good memory for faces?" I asked why and she said: "Because there isn't a mirror up there."” SaidHumorFunnyFacesMemoriesMirrorsBathroomGood Memories Author:Frank Carson