“If all else fails immortality can always be assured by adequate error.” IfsHumorMistakeFailingLaughterHumorousSafetyErrorsBeerImmortalityAviationAssuredSpectacularWhen All Else Fails Author:John Kenneth Galbraith
“Should I really care what kind of beer frogs recommend?” ShouldKindHumorCareFunnyBeerShould IFrogs Book:Ranting Again Source: Ranting Again
“That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.” IfsGivingHumorBigsFunnyJesusSidesBlackSonWalkingRight NowGive MeDiedGladFatsBeerDamnGutsJerusalemFriesFrench FriesCheeseburger Author:Denis Leary
“Beer must be made by food companies. It makes you wander the streets at 3 am looking for things to eat. "What's that, is it moving, get it!! It's a nun! Fry her!! Fry her!"” MadeHumorFunnyMovingCompanyStreetsWanderBeerNun Author:Dylan Moran
“This guy from L.A. sits down next to me, and he says "you like baseball?" I said, "Oh, man, I love baseball." So he goes "Did you know that if Jesus had played ball, he'd have been the greatest ball player ever?" Like I'm gonna argue with that logic. So I sat there for a second, and then I said "did you know that if Babe Ruth had been the Messiah, the Catholics would have beer and hot dogs at Communion?" He left.” IfsKnowsMenHas BeensSaidHumorFunnyGuyNextJesusLeftPlayerDogLogicBaseballBallsHotCatholicArguingBeerSatCommunionThis GuyBabeMessiahDid You KnowRuthHot DogBaseball LoveBall Players Author:Bill Engvall
“If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.” IfsHumorFunnyDeserveGlassesBeerFancyChampagne Author:Kristen Schaal