“Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.” HumorFunnyFoodAdultsCookingCulinaryCheeseCheesyMacaroniMacaroni And CheeseGrilled CheeseBlue Cheese Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.” WantTryingHomeHumorFunnyStudiosApartmentCheeseMobileDwellingTentsCottagesTornadoes Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can draw and people can identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. It's the only cheese you can bite and miss. "Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "Every now and then!"” PeopleThinkingDoeHumorFunnyMissingDrawsHeyBitesNow And ThenCheeseSandwichesSwissCheddarSwiss Cheese Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I was on a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, and it was a surprise how much cheese I had applied on each cracker. That's why they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It's not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won't get mad because it glows in the dark too.” IfsShouldHumorFunnyNightEasyDarkRoomsMiddleProductsIntegrityShould HaveMadSurpriseBoxesVersionsBusCheeseTemperatureMiddle Of The NightCrackersGlow In The Dark Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I had a box of Ritz crackers, and on the back of the box, they had all these suggestions for what to put on top of the Ritz. Try it with cheese. Try it with peanut butter. Come on, man, they're crackers, that's why I got them. I like crackers! I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates!” MenTryingLittlesHumorFunnyBoxesPlatesCheeseSuggestionsPeanutsPeanut ButterCrackersRitz Author:Mitch Hedberg
“I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, but now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips.” LittlesHomeHumorWantedFunnyNamesBitsLittle BitNegativeCleanCheeseChipsSpongesTortillas Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.” HumorFunnyCheeseWeasels Author:Bill Bailey
“Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up!” HumorFunnyCookingCheese Author:Dylan Moran
“In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.” IfsHumorFunnyBreadCheesePizzaTomatoesGarlic Author:Jimmy Carr
“Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."” HumorFunnyCausesToo MuchLowsBlueWingsExcuseMealsExtrasCheeseBuffaloAppetizersToo Much FunBlue Cheese Author:Jim Gaffigan
“I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...'” SaidEndsHumorTodayFunnyCheeseArmageddon Author:Tim Vine
“When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.” LooksHardHumorFunnyTablesCheese Author:Zach Galifianakis
“When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'” SaidHumorFunnyMomMy MomCheeseMiceCartoonChuckRefrigeratorsTrampolinesChuck E Cheese Author:George Lopez
“I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.” HumorFunnyImagineTasteWarmHungryImagine ThatCheeseGoatsHmm Author:Kristen Schaal
“With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'” PeopleWellsHumorFunnySexInterestingFinalsVideoCheeseDollsReally InterestingGoats Author:Russell Howard