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Humor Quotes

Browse 16077 quotes about Humor.

Humor Quotes

“We will allow private and religious groups to compete to provide services in every federal, state and local social program.”

States Humor Political Social Religious Groups Program Locals Political Humor Social Programs

Author:George W. Bush

“Remember that the wit, humour, and jokes of most mixed companies are local. They thrive in that particular soil, but will not often bear transplanting.”

Humor Funny Remember Company Humour Particular Bears Jokes Wit Locals Soil Thrive

Book:Lord Chesterfield's Letters

Source: Lord Chesterfield's Letters

“While it may not heighten our sympathy, wit widens our horizons by its flashes, revealing remote hidden affiliations and drawing laughter from far afield; humor, in contrast, strikes up fellow feeling, and though it does not leap so much across time and space, enriches our insight into the universal in familiar things, lending it a local habitation and a name.”

“So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'”

Want Said Humor Funny Certain Amount Glory Locals Ice Shops Cream Ice Cream Trousers

Author:Tim Vine

“So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".”

Want Said Humor Funny Locals Complaints Lumps Onions Supermarkets Vinegar

Book:The (Not Quite) Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book: Children's Edition

Source: The (Not Quite) Biggest Ever Tim Vine Joke Book: Children's Edition

“I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.”

Humor Today Funny Clubs Locals Blokes

Author:Tim Vine