“There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam.” PeopleIfsTwoHumorFunnyWeekPaidBreadMinimumWagesMinimum WageSpam Author:Chris Rock
“We need to have mentoring programs energized by government, paid for by government, but who exist not because of government. Teen Challenge is a way to get people off drugs and alcohol. Teen Challenge is a faith-based program that changes people's hearts.” PeopleWayNeedsHeartHumorGovernmentPoliticalChallengesDrugProgramPaidScaryAlcoholMentoringDrugs And AlcoholPolitical HumorFaith Based Author:George W. Bush
“A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.” HumorFunnyPiecesPaid Author:Robert Benchley
“I made $3,000 opening for the Neville Brothers, and they paid me in cash. That was a bad situation, because I bought ridiculous stuff. I bought a snake bite emergency kit. Then I said to my friends, "Don't even worry about snakes anymore". My friend stepped on a worm, and I said, "Lay down!"” MadeSaidHumorFunnyStuffSituationWorryBrotherMy FriendsPaidLaysRidiculousOpeningBitesCashSnakesWormsEmergenciesBad Situations Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, "Don't put off that mammogram."” SaidHumorCareFunnyUsedPayBecomingPaidCaringChecksWaiterWaitressSaying Thank YouMammograms Author:Rita Rudner
“"Yeah, well, if you eat red meat, it stays in your colon for fifteen years!" Good! I paid for it; I want it in my ass, okay? I want them to find a meat sweater from my esophagus to my asshole when they open me up in the end! "This guy's covered in meat! He's Meat-Man! He's Meat-Tracheotomy-Man!"” IfsMenWantYearsWellsEndsHumorFunnyGuyRedOkayPaidYeahAssMeatCoveredFifteenThis GuySweatersFifteen YearsRed Meat Author:Denis Leary
“Then there was the man who declared in court, he wasn't a person. "Excuse me, sir, why haven't you paid your taxes." "Well, as you can clearly see, I am not a person." "Well, you look like a person." "No it's all done with mirrors, trust me!"” MenWellsLooksPersonsDoneHumorFunnyHavensHe ManTaxesPaidMirrorsCourtExcuseTrust MeExcuse Me Author:Lewis Black
“My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."” IfsThinkingSaidHumorFunnyPaidMates Author:Tim Vine