“A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.” InspirationalHumorFunnyAsksMoneyHumorousRainFairsWittyWeatherBankingBankersBack WhenUmbrellaRainy DayFunny MoneyBankers And BanksBanks And MoneyFunny ThoughtsRainy WeatherInspirational RainLending MoneyBest FunnyFair Weather Friend Author:Robert Frost
“I reverently believe that the Maker who made us all makes everything in New England but the weather. I don't know who makes that, but I think it must be raw apprentices in the weather clerk's factory who experiment and learn how, in New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for countries that require a good article, and will take their custom elsewhere if they don't get it...” IfsThinkingKnowsBelieveMadeCountryHumorClothesEnglandExperimentsWeatherBoardsCustomsMakersArticlesFactoriesElsewhereGood ArtNew EnglandClerksApprentice Author:Mark Twain
“A friend said to me, "I think the weather is trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it's the way we perceive it." And then I realized I just should have said, "Yeah."” ThinkingMenWayShouldSaidHumorFunnyShould HaveYeahI RealizedWeatherPerceiveTrippy Author:Mitch Hedberg
“Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries for quality of life, because of things like the weather, obviously, late retirement, poor holiday, poor public services, poor health service; it's basically just a kind of grey, godless wilderness, full of cold pies and broken dreams.” KindCountryMomentsDreamHumorFunnyLastsPoorQualityBrokenColdLateEnglandBottomWeatherHolidayOnlineWildernessRetirementPieGreyPollsQuality Of LifePublic ServiceEuropean CountriesBroken DreamsHealth ServicesPoor Health Author:Bill Bailey
“I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot on the road as a standup comic, between airport security and the weather... I just wanted to be prepared for sitting in the airport.” HumorWantedFunnySecurityMaterialsSittingPreparedWeatherComicBe PreparedAirportsBack WhenAirport Security Author:Lewis Black
“They've gotta stop reporting wind chill. That's nonsense. It really is. I don't know where they came up with it, why they came up with it, but it's a lie. They come on, "Well, it's 27 degrees today, but with the wind chill, it's minus 3." Well, then it's minus 3, asshole! I don't need to know what the weather was like if the conditions were perfect!” IfsKnowsNeedsWellsHumorTodayFunnyLyingPerfectConditionsWindDegreesWeatherNonsenseChillMinus Author:Lewis Black
“Mel: What was your name again? Rain: Rain. Mel: Oh that's nice. Kind of like bad weather.” KindHumorFunnyNamesNiceRainWeatherBad Weather Author:Kristen Schaal