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Humorous Quotes

Browse 3047 quotes about Humorous.

Humorous Quotes

“If I don't drive around the park, I'm pretty sure to make my mark. If I'm in bed each night by ten, I may get back my looks again. If I abstain from fun and such, I'll probably amount to much; But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.”

Ifs Way Giving Looks May Night Fun Amount Bed Ten Humorous Mark Damn Parks Get Back

Book:Dorothy Parker

Source: Dorothy Parker

“You know that old saying. Once you go dead, no one's better in bed.”

Knows Sex Bed Humorous Old Saying

Author:Jeaniene Frost

“Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.”

Life Inspirational Funny Work Money Business Bed Humorous Making Money Inaction Get Money Funny Money Funny Business Makin Money

Author:George Burns

“All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.”

Want Kind Power Human Nature Bed Humorous Profound Warm Brilliant Insane Unlimited Kind Words Unlimited Power

Book:All I Want is a Warm Bed and a Kind Word and Unlimited Power: Even More Brilliant Thoughts

Source: All I Want is a Warm Bed and a Kind Word and Unlimited Power: Even More Brilliant Thoughts

“What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures.”

Funny Love Is Marriage Bed Humorous Witty Cures Fever Husband And Wife Husband Wife Funny Husband And Wife

Book:Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin

Source: Aperçus: The Aphorisms of Mignon McLaughlin

“Throughout most of my life, I raised tobacco. I want you to know that my own hands, all of my life, I put in the plant beds and transferred it! I hoed it! I've dug in it! I've sprayed it! I've chopped it! I've shredded it, spiked it, put it in the barn and stripped it and sold it!”

Knows Want Hands My Own Stupid Bed Humorous Plant Raised I Want You Tobacco Barns

Author:Al Gore