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Humorous Quotes

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Humorous Quotes

“Dombey sat in the corner of the darkened room in the great arm-chair by the bedside, and Son lay tucked up warm in a little basket bedstead, carefully disposed on a low settee immediately in front of the fire and close to it, as if his constitution were analogous to that of a muffin, and it was essential to toast him brown while he was very new.”

Ifs Littles Funny Rooms Fire Fronts Son Arms Essentials Lows Humorous Constitution Lays Corners Warm Sat Brown Chairs Baskets Toasts Muffins

Book:Dombey and Son

Source: Dombey and Son

“I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now.”

Thinking Way Kind I Can School Remember Audience Fronts College Humorous High School Remember When Juniors Elementary School Junior High

Author:Steven Wright

“Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain.”

Country Player Fronts Cold Humorous Rain Baseball Canada Hockey Acid Baseball Player Imports Hockey Player Canada Day Canada Funny Happy Canada Day Canada Being Great Acid Rain

Author:Pierre Trudeau

“The reason I'm not an alcoholic is I don't like to drink in front of the kids . . . and when you're away from them, who needs it?.”

Needs Children Reason Humor Kids Funny Fronts Baby Drink Humorous Alcoholics

Book:Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy

Source: Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse: My Life in Comedy

“A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge”

Funny Wise Fronts Humorous Witty Wise Sayings Fridges

Author:Robert Breault

“If a man….who’s playing in front of the public, is being well paid, and he doesn’t dedicate himself to the job, I’d be hard on him. If I could I would put him in jail, out of the road of society. Because he’s a menace”

Ifs Men Wells Hard Funny Jobs Sports Society Fronts Football Humorous Paid If I Could Jail Dedication Footballer Menace

Author:Bill Shankly

“There, in the middle of this mall is the Washington Monument, 555 feet high. But if we put a one in front of that 555 feet, we get 1555, the year that our first fathers landed on the shores of Jamestown, Virginia as slaves.”

Ifs Years Firsts Father Feet Middle Fronts Stupid Humorous Slave Shore Monument Virginia Malls Jamestown Washington Monument

Author:Louis Farrakhan