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Listening Quotes

Browse 4050 quotes about Listening.

Listening Quotes

“XM radio doesn't have commercials, so after about thirty minutes of listening to it, I'm like, "What should I buy?"”

Should Humor Funny Minutes Listening Radio Thirty Should I

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I have no problem not listening to the Temptations.”

Problem Humor Funny Listening Temptation No Problem

Author:Mitch Hedberg

“I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.”

Humor Funny Listening Drummer Just Listen Erratic

Author:Demetri Martin

“Heavy Metal fans are buying Heavy Metal records, taking the records home, listening to the records and then blowing their heads off with shotguns? Where's the problem? That's an unemployment solution right there, folks! It's called natural selection.”

Problem Home Humor Funny Natural Records Fans Listening Solutions Folks Heavy Buying Metals Unemployment Selection Natural Selection Heavy Metal Shotguns Metal Fans

Author:Denis Leary

“You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better. But ve are very vibrant in the theater and arts...' and all the time you'll be listening to this, you're thinking Mmm, yeah, mmm... Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler.”

Thinking Knows Persons Has Beens Art Humor Funny Talking Nice Modern Like You Listening Europe Theater Yeah Critical Germany Affable

Author:Dylan Moran

“When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.”

Humor Funny Lasts Loses Listening Taste Summer India Spicy Last Summer Spicy Food

Author:Jimmy Carr

“For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.”

Humor Funny Audience Comedy Minutes Listening Conversation Jokes Twenties Following Cake Stand Up Comedy

Author:Jim Gaffigan

“My neighbor's not even listening to me. He's all excited about some garden hose he bought at Brookstone. He's convinced it was designed by NASA. "Actually, it's got two nozzles, one for the hot and one for the..." Really? Is it long enough to go around both our necks and the chimney so we can tandem jump off of this? That's all I really care about you and your little garden hose.”

Littles Long Two Enough Care Funny Comedy Listening Garden Hot Excited Convinced Neighbor Necks Nasa Chimneys Tandem

Author:Bill Burr

“No one is listening until you make a mistake.”

Humor Funny Mistake Listening

Author:Steven Wright

“I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."”

Thinking Knows I Can Humor Might Funny Song Music Written Listening Radio

Author:Steven Wright

“I would never try and play like Harry James, because I don't like his tone - for me. It's just white. You know what I mean? He has what we black trumpet players call a white sound. But it's for white music ... I can tell a white trumpet player, just listening to a record. There'll be something he'll do that'll let me know that he's white.”

Knows Trying Mean I Can Play Funny Sound Black White Records Player Listening Let Me Tone Trumpets Just Listen

Author:Miles Davis

“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”

Inspirational Humor Funny Hope Waiting Silence Talking Listening Expectations Opposites Luck Memorable Coaching Talking And Listening

Author:Fran Lebowitz

“The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.”

Inspirational Feels Funny Time Listening Anger Tongue Self Control Self Discipline Best Times Power And Control Busting Sharp Tongue

Author:Josh Billings

“My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence.”

Funny Reading Silence Music Listening Quiet Hobbies Silence Is Listening To Music Funny Music Silence Is Golden Reading Music

Author:Edith Sitwell

“With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.”

Trying Funny Listening Combination

Author:Kristen Wiig

“They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.”

Source: The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow